Pumpkin means Fall. Which means... KYLIE IS OBSESSED WITH EVERYTHING.

As I sit here with CMT on in the background, my little man passed out in my bed still, and pumpkin spice coffee in hand. I decided to write. About what? I really have no idea. But, I am actually into someone. Here. In OKC. OKLAHOMA EFFING CITY. Everyone that lives here knows I thought it was more than impossible to find someone that I could even remotely tolerate in this city. Let alone, the state. Someone, anyone, if you would see this ridiculous smile I have on my face when I am near this person. You would think I was sick with some sort of fever. 

Also, with it being Autumn, Fall, The Harvest Season... I am obsessed... hoodies, snuggling, bonfires, changing of the colors, road trips to Arbuckle Mountains, dressing my son up in some extremely dapper clothing, more pinup shoots, thanksgiving (my ultimate fatty day.), owl decor everywhere, and my weird obsession that my ex husband, Zak, Dustin, Kristie, & Boston know that it should be borderline therapy obsessed. I get photos from some. I am talking coffees, creamers, creamcheese, scents for my car, perfumes, hand sanitizers, conditoners, shampoos, body washes, the look of pumpkins, pumpkin decor, I mean it allllll!! Even Gunner knows he is turning like his mommy. LOVES THEM. I swear, If there was a place where it was Fall ALL YEAR ROUND, I would move there. I know it is scientifically impossible. But, if the scientists at Harvard made a lightsaber. Maybe, they could scientifically make me an island of Autumn. Hahaha. Ah.. Told, you obsessed. 

Now, that all of you might think I am absolutely crazy, I mean batshit loco, You probably still enjoy me knowing my weird obsession. Did I mention my car has a pumpkin portable for scents from Bath and Body Works? It has the scent of leaves. YAY! 

Good news, I should be divorced from Satan himself soon. Took a year and a half. But, we got there. I may throw confetti in the court room, air horn. IT ALL. May even kiss the judge and my lawyer Roger Rabbit style. I seriously am so ready to be off his horrible grasp of life. He is like a bad omen that is always there. It is sad that some of his old Submariners have joined my side. Muhahaha. :) 

That my friends is why I love living here for the time being. I have a huge support system, My son being my biggest support! :)

xoxox
Kylie

Don't Judge A Book By The Cover.

Don't judge a book by it's cover. Something everyone should live by. My parent's taught me that at a young age. But, if you are covered in tattoos from head to toe, you might be a serial killer or trashy. I keep getting more tattoos. I am a damn good mom. It doesn't change who you are or how you raise kids, act in public. They are just forms of art that I would rather just express on my body. I recently met a person. Well, about two weeks after I started my new job. He is covered in tattoos, and everyone I have met that has been covered in ink has seriously been some of the coolest and laid back people I have ever met. The whole thing in church growing up how it is wrong to have them, or they were probably in jail is a lie. Yes, some people still think that way. My generation, 95% at least have one on them somewhere. It is 2013. Learn to live with it. So, back to the badass I met. He put my pinup girl on me, spreads the word of Christ to clients and has a prayer board in his office. First and foremost that right there is pretty rad. I mean that is something that is admirable. We have became pretty close and to show that he has God first in his life is amazing. I wonder what would have happened if I decided to stay in Hawaii and keep going under Tim Goodrich's apprenticeship at Aloha Tattoo. Where and what Gunner and I would be doing in life. Would I have listened to Matthew? That man there is covered as well and has to be one influential men in Hawaii to many. Whether it be artists or the people who he gets to change daily with his tattooing he does. I HIGHLY recommend anyone to go to him in Oahu. People judge to fast with tattoos. What does it mean? None of your damn business, actually.

People are way too fast to judge people. I loved the kid that came in with his parents last night sporting a Batman cape. Hell yeah! I love parents that let kids express themselves. Capes, vivid imagination. Shit, let them act like a dinosaur for all I care. They love it. I discipline my kid. So many people look down on that now. Timeout or spanking makes you a horrible mom. I am not judging you for not disciplining your child. I vaccinate. I thoroughly did research and I still decided to vaccinate. I still get judged for it. Guess what?! Keep to yourself! I LOVED when I was pregnant and elderly folks would look at me like I was 17 and pregnant. I got asked once if I was with the man. I snapped and said, he is deployed thanks. For christ sake, most folks were 16-18, married, and pregnant in the 40s-50s and they judge us. Thanks MTV for that. I have learned not to care what others think. I am doing the best for my child. I bust my ass to make him happy! Almost done with his awesome bedroom! :) 

Whether you have tattoos, vaccinate, discipline, employed or not, strip, wait tables. Whatever, keep doing what you are doing. Don't listen to anyone else. Not even those voices in your head. ;) 

Kylie

If I let you into my heart for even a split second, be kind to shut the door on your way out.

Alrighty... well, it has been a while since I have written in here, hasn't it? So, much has happened. Had a boyfriend for a while. He left me for some chick that has been around his platoon more times than I can say bless your heart. That's cute. ;) Then, I met a guy who I thought was attractive. Told him to come to the bar one night and we talked outside for a bit, and told each other one was attractive. Weeks go by. Keep talking here and there, watch Breaking Bad at my place. We kissed. Then, well. things get awkward. He won't look at me or even speak to me. He tells me, He wasn't ready for a relationship like he thought and even admitted to being a complete asshole to me. I kinda brushed it off. Being single is a lot better sometimes. I have my little man to take care of. He first and foremost comes first. ALWAYS. Sorry I'm not sorry about having my priorities in line and in check about what I need to have first. That my friends is my son. 

Now, if you see me, I have a fake smile on a lot. I have a lot of stress. Work, Gunner's constant skin conditions that Dr's cannot 100% diagnose correctly until I make a huge fuss. I left the hospital. I pretty much blocked out my past and Hawaii. Except the good parts where friends and where I was told I was going to have a baby. Now, 2 years old and has tantrums and cute moments. I am a mom. I love the snuggles and the melting of my heart. I dislike the tantrums and the not listening, and hitting. Gunner's dad is pretty much a figment of my imagination. He pops in from time to time. Very rarely, and yeah.... that's about it...

I'm waiting for a man who is kind enough to pick up the pieces where Matthew left off and be there as a family together. Not asking him to be a father right away. Hell if I even introduce my kid to someone until I am comfortable and know it will be serious. I want a man who isn't a man at first and turns out to be a boy. I want a man who writes love letters, makes me smile daily, has goals and ambitions and supports one another in everything that we would do. I would spoil and make them happy. Hell, my little sister had the best man in her life. HE DID EVERYTHING FOR HER. He is like a brother to me. He was the perfect man for her. I told her to not let this one go, because women would kill to have a man like him. I am just trying to find a guy who opens my car door for me. haha. Ah. 

I made an amazing new friend at work. Her name is Kirby. She seriously is one of the coolest dames you will ever meet. We have seen each other at weak parts in our lives and strong points. This is a friend who is the bees knees. She can tell when something is bothering me, and could see hurt in my eyes about a week ago. A true friend right there. When all is going bad, you need a friend to rely on. She was there. There are days where I would love to pack our things up and move to Australia. Even a vacation to Hawaii or California would be heavenly. Just Gunner and I against the world.

People, I have a story to tell. Few know that story, My dad, and my last boyfriend, Michael. They know a lot about me. Granted Michael was in the friendzone and I pulled him outta that zone to be crushed. Eh, Hakuna Matata. I seriously have no more "fucks to give" I believe they are falling from the sky around me. I just don't care anymore. 

I am blunt, and brutal when it comes to honest opinions. I could care less what people think of me. Yet, I am "too nice" hell, I am not here to please anyone but myself, and my son, Gunner. THAT IS IT... I have goals, ambitions. 

To open a restaurant/bakery in 5 years with my pops. 
Graduate college!! Psychology and criminal justice.
Be in a happy and loving relationship.
Have a house.
Have Gunner the best life he could ever ask for <3

Sometimes I just feel like I should want to break down and bawl my eyes out. Just to not be strong all the time for Gunner and just cry from all the stress. But, that would need for me to have emotions. Besides sweet, caring, and honest. I would need a manual book on women and read it how to be bat shit crazy and cry. Then be on a roller coaster of emotion... Second thought, I would rather just be my awesomely, badass self, and keep on truckin... 

If you don't like it. Well, I wasn't thinking of you when I decided to be who I am. I just do not care. Don't care if you don't like my short hair, my tattoos, or anything else. 

I am just in extra bitch mode right now. 

JUST DON'T FUCK ME OVER. and we will be good.


Kylie.

Livin in the HEARTLAND will ALWAYS be my HOME.

Oklahoma. 

To me, it is home. My dad was born here, lived here with my Uncle Joe in the summertime, my little sister was born here, my son was... I was raised here since I was 2! This place might have tornadoes, earthquakes, flash floods, blizzards, drought with fires, ice storms, ridiculous heat. 120 sometimes... ridiculous winters... oh hey -25 windchill. Oh, don't forget the bipolar mother nature who seems to be on her time of the month 365 days out of the year here. 87 degrees one day, 30 and snowing the next. We will have all 4 seasons, in a 24 hour period. No joke. It's home though. We might always complain about how dreadfully dry and muggy it is, and how you can cut the air with a knife. We also complain when it is freezing with no ice or snow, or when we get a so called "blizzard" when we get a dusting. Even when we do get real blizzards and by hour 6 we want to strangle most of our family members. We enjoy our crazy, awesome home. 

Red dirt music, red dirt roads, floatin on the river... or taking the trucks, jeeps, four wheelers out to the river, sand dunes, muddy back roads. We love it. Well, I do. I get excited hearing about rain. Knowing I can go get stuck out in some mud, or get extremely dirty from it spraying everywhere. I cannot wait to show my son! This is how your momma and her friends all had fun. Being with one another. Bon fires, music cranked up, singing like a horrible hopeful on American Idol. Cruising down Route 66 from Small Town USA. Calf Fry, Jake FM, Two Stepping. All of it. Oklahoma is Home. I love it. 

Grapes of Wrath, Oklahoma!, Cars... We are in movies, musicals you name it. The porche from CARS. (disney/pixar) is about us. We are more than you expect. Our state song is from the musical, Oklahoma! Grapes of Wrath. Dust Bowl startin here. 

OU Football baby! We are number 1. My team anyways. We are a competitive state. OSU and OU go at it once Football season starts. There is only ONE Oklahoma.

Don't forget to Thunder Up. Especially in Loud City, Thunder Alley, your workplace, all around the nation, anywhere. We have the best team ever. EVER. Suck it Lebron. :)

Bible Belt, Lord have mercy... We don't care if you are gay, we don't care if you love a hooker, we don't care if you are Atheist. We learned to love one another in church regardless of people's flaws. From Southern Baptist to Greek Orthodox we have em all. Now, if you are coming from outta state and wanna buy liquor on certain holidays. For example, Christmas, New Years, 4th of July, Thanksgiving or Labor Day. Ain't gunna happen, Jack. Better buy before 9 pm too. Oh, and our beer content sucks. 3.5%. Anyways, saying Bless your heart. Is the sweet way of saying F**k off or you should just shut up, you are an idiot. Trust me, I use it a lot. Sometimes we use it in a serious way, saying it like we mean it. Like, Bless your heart, sweetie. Hope ya get better. We mean it in that context right there just like that. We care for you. 

Deer, Turkey, Duck, Boar. October 1st should be a Holiday here in Oklahoma. More people get excited about Deer season than anything. Some people live off of it. Your first kill. The adrenaline rush seeing a buck out in the distance usually tailing a doe or two. Right outside your blind, tree stand, or you walk upon it. Even if you come home empty handed. You are the happiest just going out to the woods, not a care in the world, dressed in your coveralls, thermals, or just some camo attire. If you cannot tell the difference between redhead, realtree, or mossy oak, some people here will stare at ya in a bizarre state of mind. Yet, no one cares because you are wearing the shades of the gods. 

When a disaster happens here in Oklahoma or anywhere.. Our hearts are filled with care and worry. April 19, 1995 a man, named Timothy McVeigh bombed our Murrah Building downtown. Killing 163 people. Many children were lost, many parents, just loved ones in general. Every year when that day rolls around... our hearts become heavy. I remember exactly where I was when it happened. My momma was in the kitchen. I was watching Nick Jr.. Face was on TV. Something started shaking our house. My mom called my dad, turned it to the news and started crying. Everyone back in California was calling to make sure we were okay. I remember driving downtown to see the building. How horrific it looked. I was not even 5 yet. I went to the memorial museum in July of 2011. Right before my son was born. I won't lie, I got teary eyed. How can someone do something like this? Why do people do things like this. And he was an American. Which made it even worse. Our community always comes together at a time like this to comfort one another. 

Tornadoes. May 3, 1999. Running from the tornado to Chandler, OK. to hide in a basement of a church there. My grandma showed up to our house here in OKC from Chandler and my dad said we gotta run. We didn't know if hiding in our bathroom cabinet and tub was enough to save us. Granted it was going to, but, living here, the paths change CONSTANTLY. We got a storm shelter not too long after that. Moore was flattened that year. Stroud had their biggest business demolished. A tornado warning and/or watch has been issued every year I have lived in Oklahoma on my birthday. June 13th. The most recent tornadoes... May 20, 2013... All I remember is staring at the TV going Oh my god. And texting my boyfriend saying oh my god. oh my god. It's worse than May 3rd. You couldn't get ahold of anyone. People at work lost their homes, someone couldn't find their brother (but did eventually, thank god.) Friends lost their homes. But, they were alive. The biggest impact, was crying hearing that children were deceased. Drowned or killed by the twister. Kids. Who had their whole lives ahead of them. I came home from work and held my son even tighter that morning. Thanking God he was here, and in my arms. Because, some people couldn't get to hold their loved ones anymore. My best friend was a first responder. He was deployed to the elementary school, Plaza Towers, where he had to see things no one should EVER have to see. I know I couldn't have done that. I would have had a mental breakdown. Then yesterday. May 31, 2013 Mass flooding, Damaging homes, going through the I-35 highway lifting cars a bit off the ground, scaring people, no doubt, flooding cars, sitting in the shelter for an hour and 5 minutes. You know when Gary England takes his jacket off on News 9 it is serious, and about to get real. If Mike Morgan wears his bedazzled ties that some blind lady picked for him. You know it is gunna be one dramatic evening of events. 

Okies always will rise together. We are like a phoenix, rising out of the ashes and the ruble to become stronger and better than ever. More glorious than before. We will heal. We are one. A community. A family of a little over a million. We are Oklahoma Strong. I might wanna pull my hair out living in the nation of crazy and awesome. Politics make me wanna move sometimes to Australia or Scotland. But, Oklahoma is home. I always find myself back here. I might move away one day for good. I will always come back though. The red dirt on my skin, the river flowing as my blood, and the wind in my hair. Oklahoma is love, a family, happiness. We make you feel at home if we just met ya, and we will invite you with open arms. Come visit this place we call home.

xoxo
Kylie

Let's Catch Up...

Holy balls. So, I know I need to write in here more. I always think about when I need to or what I have in mind!! 

First thing is first. THE CHIVE MEETUP IN DALLAS THAT WE HAD ABOUT A MONTH AGO. yes. A month.... haha

It was EPIC. I got to get away for a couple days and enjoy my best friend. Pillows divided the bed and all. Yeahhh buddy. Apple Pie Moonshine... Thinking of Jake Owen the whole time I would get it, make it, or whatever. Met so many new people. Danced like a fool. Drank crazy amounts of alcohol. And last but not least, got to let loose. Now, I haven't got to "let loose" since I got pregnant in November 2010. I never go out, if I do, it is to a movie. or to a bonfire and back home in like 2 hours. There were stuntman shots, the cops called a billion times to the hotel. People blaring music at 7am!! ON WEEKENDS AND VACATION. NO. GO BACK TO SLEEP. bahaha. If you don't CHIVE ON. or come to my OKC Meet. Which I have seriously been lacking on this past week. Sorry! I worked 48 hours last week. haha. 

Gots me a boyfran.. oh, hai boy, hai. WTH? yeah. I'm running on two hours of sleep today! We knew each other in Hawaii, reconnected last year, and skyped while I was in Dallas, before then, connected, like hey you! yeah, your face. I like that shit. If you can talk in Star Wars quotes and imaginary scenarios. Then, you pretty much stole my heart. We pick on each other. and I absolutely am happier than I have been in a long time. This woman doesn't settle. She picks with love and care. :D

People getting married. EVERYWHERE!!! Congrats to you all!! If I ever remarry and get to that point. Divorce is NOT an option. You cheat you get the boot. I ain't dealing with that shit again, haha. Better grab some whiskey go sit down, think of why you two fell in love and work that shit out! Fight for one another. Couples give up too easily. I waited 5 months of knowing about all the cheating to confront him. Oh, hell. the proof along made him not happy. But, hakuna matata. My son and I deserve better. Couples fight all the time. Over petty shit! Like who the fuck says, You killed my fish, I'm leaving you! Bitch. It is a fish. A FUCKING FISH. haha. or You had a dream about Rhonda.  You must be cheating! First off, sit down, and leave this woman. She is psycho.

GUYS!! HERE IS A LIST OF WHAT YOU NEED IN A WOMAN.

1. SHE CAN COOK! Good god, WE don't like twigs. Or woman that burn ramen noodles. Come on now.
2. She loves you unconditionally.
3. She trusts you! She puts all her heart and soul into you! Better keep that close to your head. Screw heart. Ya'll sometimes need to think deep.
4. She doesn't ask about weird things. Like, I went through your phone contacts. Who is Courtney? LEAVE THEN.
5. She has interests that you do!
6. She is down to earth. For Christ sake... We don't need drama and you getting grays in the first 6 months because of some broad.
7. She is chill with you going out, drinking, partying, hanging around girls. 
8. She doesn't need a manual to understand her.
9. She tells you everything that is wrong! She communicates with you. 
"Babe why are you mad?"
You said this, and it upset me a bit.
"Oh, I am sorry, won't happen again. love you." 

I just solved all your problems. don't fight about it. MOVE THE FUCK ON.
10. She supports you, stands by you, if you are in long term, long distance ish, She will most likely tell you where she is at, what she is doing, where she is going, because she trusts you and wants you to trust her. She fucking likes you. you like her. 

GIRLS.
1. He picks on you and return with some smart ass remark right back. And likes it... keep him.
2. Sends you flowers and shit just because he wants to. Don't ask questions. Like that man. 
3. If you have KIDS. and He doesn't GIVE A CRAP that he is now a jungle gym. He's a blue ribbon winner.
4. Tells you the honest to god truth if some experimental food tastes like bigfoots dick. Don't get fucking butthurt.
5. Stands by you and supports you in any decision you decide to make or when you are sad, he lets you vent to him and what not. 
6. Let's you take a crap ton of pictures of him. Most men aren't that fond of pictures, unless drunk, marriage, holding newborns. 
7. If you like chick flicks and he watches them with you without wanting to shoot himself. High five.
8. Can stand you when you sound like a demon needing to be exorcized while on your period. 
9. Sings in the car like a banshee with you. 
10. Spontaneous, adventurous, brave, courageous, sexy, funny, nerdy, dorky, awesome. Non-douchebag like attitude, has a vocabulary that can exceed a 5th grader, and has his shit together. STAY WITH THE MAN. JESUS CHRIST. DON'T NEED A DAMN MANUAL TO UNDERSTAND THEM. THEY WANT FOOD, LOVE, SEX. AND BOOZE.

you skanks. wait until you are with the man and/or love the dude to have sexy time. that is a huge part of you that you are giving to someone. jeeze.

I feel like having dreams and loving myself right now. I am dead tired. My bed sounds like the most comfortable place on Earth. I have to see what is going on with Day 3 of severe weather. Day 2 of crazy tornadoes. Bring it on. I even took Gunner's car seat out of my car because I know my car is about to be raped by more hail. That thing was expensive. 

Now, I am going to attempt some sleep before tornadoes hit and I have to go to work. 

xoxo
Kylie

PS. I should have my pinup page running soon. <3

Please do the world a favor and do not breed.

Alright. I am heated! Pregnant people... WHY IN GOD'S NAME DO YOU GO TO THE BAR AND CLUBS, AND STRIP CLUBS ON YOUR OWN FREAKING FREE WILL?! YOU HAVE A CHILD WHO DOESN'T NEED ALL THAT SMOKE, THE BEERS YOU ARE DRINKING AND  SHOTS, AND GOD KNOWS IF YOU ARE DOING DRUGS. For CHRIST SAKE. Your baby comes first. I hope your husband, baby daddy, boyfriend whatever. Thinks you are an idiot. I sure do. Give the baby to someone who actually would love to have a child and cannot. I would adopt your baby. So many people who cannot get pregnant would love to have your baby. You do NOT deserve to breed. AT ALL. Change your damn ways, worry about the baby, and get the fuck on with the little one's life. I see some people who are more worried about going out to the clubs and shit than worry about who is growing and relying on mommy on the inside.

Honey Boo Boo's mom and Snooki are better parents than you immature idiots. I could and would NEVER do that. The moment I found out I was pregnant. I threw my can of snus out, my cigarettes out, stopped drinking all caffeine and stopped drinking alcohol. If you wonder why your child comes out with RSV or heart, and other lung related issues. Please go back and remember you were the worst person ever during your pregnancy. Thanks. I cannot fathom how many stories I have heard when I went in to Baptist about girls who were doing cocaine and shit and their babies died 2 days before the due date. Seriously. you should go to hell for doing that to your child. 

I love my child. Gunner will always come first. Top Gun is my world. I cannot imagine life without him. I do not like going out very much because I am all that he has! My ex husband is a douche and is not even in his life. And I have been a single mom pretty much since day 1. Put your big girl panties on and GET WITH THE PROGRAM. BE A MOTHER. BE A GOD DANG MOM TO YOUR CHILD. After your child is BORN, do NOT go out a week or a month after the child is born. THEY RELY ON YOU FOR EVERYTHING. EVERY LITTLE THING. YOU ARE TEACHING THEM EVERYTHING. I didn't go out until my 1st wedding anniversary and I was such a wreck, I was texting Kristie to make sure Gunner was okay. he was 4 months old. Went again when he was 6 months old to FIND A HOUSE IN SC. Responsible adult stuff. I am going out next weekend for a little time to myself. BECAUSE. I NEVER do. I work, take care of Gunner. Bust my butt, and had this planned two months ago. 

So, horrible parents of epic fucking proportions to your babies and toddlers. Get a clue. Be a parent. Be better than Honey Boo Boo's mom and for christ sake get your shit together.

XOXOX
Kylie

Love is strong. It always wins

Since everyone is putting their two cents into the gay marriage.

They deserve equality. Love is love. Let them love madly, truly, and happily. Let them have tough times together as a married couple and come out even stronger. Let them plan the wedding of their dreams! They aren't killing anyone by doing so. They want what we have. Besides, homosexuals divorce rate in other States, are a crap ton lower than heterosexual couples. They deserve to have families whether or not they do get married. And raise kids. Being gay is not a choice. They are born that way. Every single male that I know who is gay. said they knew they like little Tommy instead of sally when hey were in grade school. Now, if you think it is a choice. Being an asshole is a choice. And assholes still get married. So, let them. :)

Now, while I'm laying in bed feeling like I have been stabbed in the lower abdomen with mother nature smiling. Gunner has his feet across my chest, and cannot get comfy either. He keeps tossing and turning. Oh, I write this on my phone, by the way. I just wonder why so many douche nuggets out there give a shit about gay marriage!? Not so long ago interracial couples was a crime, folks that were not white had to ride in the back, had their own drinking fountains, bathrooms... etc.  Not anymore. Women couldn't vote nor drive. Now we can. Well some women still suck at driving. I for one do not. But, we should let them get married! Who gives a flying fuck about what they do in the bedroom. Hell, have you seen a porn? 90% of those women do shit that most normal women cannot. Nor men. I bet the same people who are wierded out by breast feeding are against marriage for gays. Just shut the hell up. One, what they do inside the bedroom is their business like what a straight couple does in their room is their business. It is 2013. Not year 1200. Get with the program. Did you know that Julius Cesar liked men? Did you know that Napoleon did too? Just to let you know, IT HAS BEEN HAPPENING FOR A FUCKING EVER. I support it. I could care less if you don't. Just let them be happy. They aren't hitting on you, so get over yourselves.

I love my homosexual friends. They make me laugh, smile, and my friend MCL knows a lot about my life. Oh, do ya sell the crepes? Lol.

Neil Patrick Harris is gay. Some people still do not know that. Would never have known, huh? The man who plays Sheldon Cooper is too. Didn't know that for a while myself. They aren't killing anyone. They are Badass. Enough said.

Now, everyone. Shut up. Let em get married, have babies, have sex,  whatever. They can even endure the miserable but I still love your stubborn ass kind of marriage that straight couples go through after 25-50 years of marriage. Love is love. No matter how, with who, or any of the sorts. I support it. You should too.

xoxox
Kylie.