Don't Judge A Book By The Cover.

Don't judge a book by it's cover. Something everyone should live by. My parent's taught me that at a young age. But, if you are covered in tattoos from head to toe, you might be a serial killer or trashy. I keep getting more tattoos. I am a damn good mom. It doesn't change who you are or how you raise kids, act in public. They are just forms of art that I would rather just express on my body. I recently met a person. Well, about two weeks after I started my new job. He is covered in tattoos, and everyone I have met that has been covered in ink has seriously been some of the coolest and laid back people I have ever met. The whole thing in church growing up how it is wrong to have them, or they were probably in jail is a lie. Yes, some people still think that way. My generation, 95% at least have one on them somewhere. It is 2013. Learn to live with it. So, back to the badass I met. He put my pinup girl on me, spreads the word of Christ to clients and has a prayer board in his office. First and foremost that right there is pretty rad. I mean that is something that is admirable. We have became pretty close and to show that he has God first in his life is amazing. I wonder what would have happened if I decided to stay in Hawaii and keep going under Tim Goodrich's apprenticeship at Aloha Tattoo. Where and what Gunner and I would be doing in life. Would I have listened to Matthew? That man there is covered as well and has to be one influential men in Hawaii to many. Whether it be artists or the people who he gets to change daily with his tattooing he does. I HIGHLY recommend anyone to go to him in Oahu. People judge to fast with tattoos. What does it mean? None of your damn business, actually.

People are way too fast to judge people. I loved the kid that came in with his parents last night sporting a Batman cape. Hell yeah! I love parents that let kids express themselves. Capes, vivid imagination. Shit, let them act like a dinosaur for all I care. They love it. I discipline my kid. So many people look down on that now. Timeout or spanking makes you a horrible mom. I am not judging you for not disciplining your child. I vaccinate. I thoroughly did research and I still decided to vaccinate. I still get judged for it. Guess what?! Keep to yourself! I LOVED when I was pregnant and elderly folks would look at me like I was 17 and pregnant. I got asked once if I was with the man. I snapped and said, he is deployed thanks. For christ sake, most folks were 16-18, married, and pregnant in the 40s-50s and they judge us. Thanks MTV for that. I have learned not to care what others think. I am doing the best for my child. I bust my ass to make him happy! Almost done with his awesome bedroom! :) 

Whether you have tattoos, vaccinate, discipline, employed or not, strip, wait tables. Whatever, keep doing what you are doing. Don't listen to anyone else. Not even those voices in your head. ;) 

Kylie

If I let you into my heart for even a split second, be kind to shut the door on your way out.

Alrighty... well, it has been a while since I have written in here, hasn't it? So, much has happened. Had a boyfriend for a while. He left me for some chick that has been around his platoon more times than I can say bless your heart. That's cute. ;) Then, I met a guy who I thought was attractive. Told him to come to the bar one night and we talked outside for a bit, and told each other one was attractive. Weeks go by. Keep talking here and there, watch Breaking Bad at my place. We kissed. Then, well. things get awkward. He won't look at me or even speak to me. He tells me, He wasn't ready for a relationship like he thought and even admitted to being a complete asshole to me. I kinda brushed it off. Being single is a lot better sometimes. I have my little man to take care of. He first and foremost comes first. ALWAYS. Sorry I'm not sorry about having my priorities in line and in check about what I need to have first. That my friends is my son. 

Now, if you see me, I have a fake smile on a lot. I have a lot of stress. Work, Gunner's constant skin conditions that Dr's cannot 100% diagnose correctly until I make a huge fuss. I left the hospital. I pretty much blocked out my past and Hawaii. Except the good parts where friends and where I was told I was going to have a baby. Now, 2 years old and has tantrums and cute moments. I am a mom. I love the snuggles and the melting of my heart. I dislike the tantrums and the not listening, and hitting. Gunner's dad is pretty much a figment of my imagination. He pops in from time to time. Very rarely, and yeah.... that's about it...

I'm waiting for a man who is kind enough to pick up the pieces where Matthew left off and be there as a family together. Not asking him to be a father right away. Hell if I even introduce my kid to someone until I am comfortable and know it will be serious. I want a man who isn't a man at first and turns out to be a boy. I want a man who writes love letters, makes me smile daily, has goals and ambitions and supports one another in everything that we would do. I would spoil and make them happy. Hell, my little sister had the best man in her life. HE DID EVERYTHING FOR HER. He is like a brother to me. He was the perfect man for her. I told her to not let this one go, because women would kill to have a man like him. I am just trying to find a guy who opens my car door for me. haha. Ah. 

I made an amazing new friend at work. Her name is Kirby. She seriously is one of the coolest dames you will ever meet. We have seen each other at weak parts in our lives and strong points. This is a friend who is the bees knees. She can tell when something is bothering me, and could see hurt in my eyes about a week ago. A true friend right there. When all is going bad, you need a friend to rely on. She was there. There are days where I would love to pack our things up and move to Australia. Even a vacation to Hawaii or California would be heavenly. Just Gunner and I against the world.

People, I have a story to tell. Few know that story, My dad, and my last boyfriend, Michael. They know a lot about me. Granted Michael was in the friendzone and I pulled him outta that zone to be crushed. Eh, Hakuna Matata. I seriously have no more "fucks to give" I believe they are falling from the sky around me. I just don't care anymore. 

I am blunt, and brutal when it comes to honest opinions. I could care less what people think of me. Yet, I am "too nice" hell, I am not here to please anyone but myself, and my son, Gunner. THAT IS IT... I have goals, ambitions. 

To open a restaurant/bakery in 5 years with my pops. 
Graduate college!! Psychology and criminal justice.
Be in a happy and loving relationship.
Have a house.
Have Gunner the best life he could ever ask for <3

Sometimes I just feel like I should want to break down and bawl my eyes out. Just to not be strong all the time for Gunner and just cry from all the stress. But, that would need for me to have emotions. Besides sweet, caring, and honest. I would need a manual book on women and read it how to be bat shit crazy and cry. Then be on a roller coaster of emotion... Second thought, I would rather just be my awesomely, badass self, and keep on truckin... 

If you don't like it. Well, I wasn't thinking of you when I decided to be who I am. I just do not care. Don't care if you don't like my short hair, my tattoos, or anything else. 

I am just in extra bitch mode right now. 

JUST DON'T FUCK ME OVER. and we will be good.


Kylie.