So, as I sit here in the nurses station currently listening to Carrie Underwood's, Blown Away... I think I would love to be rocking out with a kareoke machine with the fellow co-workers. That right there would be entertaining as hell. I would give myself a medal for bestscreech owl attempting to sing some Dixie Chicks or something.
Now, I did some facts the other day about myself. I should do goofy facts right now and some other random crap. Why? I'm awesome, and the funniest person EVER.
1. I LOVE to cook and bake. Fool, I would make you as fat as Jabba the Hut. I just have noone to bake for except my child. And my fat ass is addicted to cookies. Lay out some chocolate chip right now, so I can stare and wish I could eat one.
2. Applesauce. And Avacadoes. Not together. But I seriously could live off of those lovely consumptions. Nom nom nom.
3. I wish my ex would get sprayed by a skunk. He would smell as repulsive as he is.
4. I cannot get this one person off my head. I seriously have this butterfly feeling when I talk to him. Holy crap, Kylie. Get it together.
5. I wish I could race in NASCAR. yes. Nascar. When I was little I wanted to badly.
6. I love the outdoors. Camping. Hunting. Fishing. All of that. If you didn't know that, or don't like that, I am dragging you camping in a TENT. Screw that RV crap.
7. I love to dance. Whether it be in my underwear, at work, the car, or in a class. ANYWHERE. I love it. I probably scare people at stoplights I do dance. All sexy like. White girl style. Holler girlllll. Haha.
8. I laugh super easily. I mean it is not hard at all.
9. I have this weird obsession with pumpkins and fall in general. the word obsessed doesn't even cover it. Oh, I love lilies. Tigerlily especially.
10. Blake Shelton. So, his music since I was 11 has been legit. God Gave Me You is my song to Gunner. Gunner makes my days better. If he wasn't married to my woman crush, Miranda Lambert. I would rape him. Hahaha. Tie him up to my bed post and leave him there. ;)
11. Disney movies, Star Wars, Comics. Hello you nerds. I am a closet nerd. I seriously love everything about it all. I get more excited about Disneyland than most 5 year olds. Move outta my way children. The space mountain is calling my name. Tower of Terror!! I wanna ride that without freaking out.
12. I have a love hate relationship with scary movies. Or needles nor anything that will freak me out. I can watch the Hills Have Eyes. But I cannot watch the Ring. Hell, I couldn't even watch a guy put a needle through his arm on this show called, freakshow last week I literally cowered into a ball. I am a pansy with a a capital P.
13. When I am in a relationship or keen on someone. I love kissing. God. I am a kisser. Pecks on the cheek, mouth, forehead. Wake up and kiss you gently. I am a passionate person. I have a thing for guys that are bald or have facial hair. Or both! Haha! But, in all seriousness. I love cuddling, and kissing. Cuddles, kissing, holding hands. Best. Ever. :)
14. I sound like a boy hitting puberty when flowers bloom in spring. Damn those Bradford pear trees. I sound horrid for a month. Cannot breathe. Cannot sleep. Sound like an idiot. I might as well sound like the creep ass that breathes down your neck in movies. Because, that is me for a while in spring.
15. Last but not least, I seriously would not mind shoving my square toes boots up a couple women's asses. They need a damn reality check. Ha! Get the absolute hell over yourself. And grow up. I just sit there in silence wondering where they turned for the worst being like that, sucking at life, and who raised them to be idiots. Oh, some men are on that list too. Just complete moronic humans are out there. Epic facepalm.
Love me or hate me. Now, don't go parking like a fucktard who got clawed in the privates by a ferret trying to park while on your cellphone. I will leave notes on how bad you park. Stevie Wonder probably parks better than some people I have came out next to parked by my car. Ha!!
Xoxox
Kylie.
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