Alrighty then. Momma is gunna write about allllll the relationships I have been in. And how much they sucked at life. But hey, if it wasn't for them. I wouldn't be this incredibly awesome. Let's start with my first real relationship. Guess what! You don't like your names in here. Grow a pair.
Koger. Yes. This man. On and off forever. This man thought he was being an absolute badass in front of his friends. He would tell me, just walking in the door, to go run out on hefner parkway and get hit by a semi. 15 minutes later, he was kissin my ass. He was screwing women left and right. But each time I was sad, or went through a breakup, needed help with stupid people. This man, was there. He never wanted to meet my parents. Because, his friends told him not to. He was 4 1/2 years older than I. When I was in Hawaii gettin cheated on. He would listen. Hahaha. Some of his past girlfriends, he would call me and ask WTF? yeah. I, amongst some of your friends think the same thing. He is the main reason I don't tolerate much bullshit. He was the first man I loved.
Tyler- oh good lord almighty. So, I met this guy, I thought he was gay when I first met him. Yes. Still dated him. While I would go on vacation. He would have another girl when I got back. Or, tell people I stalked him. How? School, and work. And you lived 30 minutes away. I don't have time for that. He realized he was a douche nugget when he confessed to cheating. And bawled his eyes out. He is the only person I have slapped across the face.
Blake. Lasted one year. Lied to me. Went down hill. He was younger. Left me for some ghetto fab black chick. Haha. Then was good friends with my sister. NO. It was a bit awkward being his baseball manager sometimes. haha.
Trent- lasted a month. I dodged his hit!! He left a dent in the fender of his truck! I paid for our DINNER. He threw a temper tantrum. And tried to hit me. Later that week. He shook me like a damn tag doll. Whiplash anyone? He was effing INSANE!!
Joel. Oh god. Every single friend in Hawaii still gives me shit. 3 inches shorter. Looks like a douche. Too serious of a marine. Cannot let lose. But dumber than rocks. Cheated on me with a Russain chick. And we broke up! But, I have some of the best friends I can ask for because of this tool bag of stupid. I met my ex husband two weeks later. Well, I was set up with him. Ugh. Both are Stupid.
Matt- the man I married. Good Jesus. He fooled me. My family. His friends, everyone. Couldn't handle a kid. Had multiple affairs. Couldn't wait for our son and I to leave. Michelle. Margaret. Some chick Josh knew. Doesn't pay child support. Drinks all the time. Strippers, petty things, and booze came before us. Wtf. Yeah, wtf. I had to beg him to spend ten minutes with our son. I would ask if he could watch gunner while I go to the store. Nope. He couldn't do it. He hated it when Gunner would cry. He would get furious. Dude. You're in the navy. Grow up. He would get pissed that I went through his email looking for something from our relator and then I found out some emails, 6 months later, I found even more!! Why did he lie to me for so long? Should have been straight up. He told me, and I quote, "I chose you though". I didn't know you even had a choice! We had VOWS!! You broke them like an OBGYN breaks water. ALL THE DAMN TIME. I regret marrying him when I did. I wanted to wait after his deployment. I wanted to see how he was with our son. Then I wouldn't be in this situation. I mean come on. HOW HARD WAS IT TO SPEND 10 MINUTES WITH YOUR SON WHEN YOU GOT HOME FROM WORK?! IT IS CALLED BONDING TIME. YOU MADE THIS BABY, BE A DAD, NOT A SPERM DONOR. AND PAY YOUR DANG CHILD SUPPORT!! Ugh. I literally could write a novel on this jackass. Every single time I even think about him, I think he is the anti-christ. I get angry. I would love to shove my square toed boot straight up his anus, and hope when I remove thus boot, he shits his pants every single time he walks. I guess, being whipped by this man, and pretty much doing everything he told me to do, going where he sent me, I was in a knew state every 6 weeks with our son. I finally realized back in July how shitty of a husband he was. I would have a beer ready for him when he walked in the door. I would be cooking dinner or have it ready. I would rub his feet after standing watch. I would rub his back, hands, and neck. I would have snacks ready for him while he was playing ps3, and I was tending to our son. Then when Gunner would go to bed, I would be able to finally play, if he didn't cry. Which I would have to shake Matt up on his days off to help with the baby. I got to sleep in once! He would help with Gunner maybe 6 times all together. 20 days of leave and he held gunner asleep while I was getting diapers, bottles, stumbling in the middle of the night. Then shove a pillow over his head. Let's quote more emails. I am not happy with her or the baby. I regret getting her pregnant sometimes. GO FUCK YOURSELF. GUNNER IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME. SHIT, YOU WERE GLOWING AND CRYING LIKE I WAS THE DAY HE WAS BORN. THOUGHT YOU WERE READY, 6 WEEKS LATER YOU STARTED CHEATING. IGNORING ME FOR DAYS ON END. I had SURGERY. I had my GALLBLADDER taken out, where was an I love you, phone call or text? Oh, none. But you could skype Michelle and tell her how you two were going to get a house in SC and you were about to fly her out, when we weren't there. WHAT THE HELL. DUDE. YOU ARE 27. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. I literally hate this man. HATE. I wish he would just be a dad.
Now, I spoil men. Treat them well. I would spoil em at Christmas. Birthdays. Randomly. Cook dinner for their families. Or them. Bake constantly. Do whatever. Massage their backs and feet after a long day at duty. I'm actually really nice. I just think some of my exes are stupid. Or just shouldn't breathe and reproduce. I try my damnedest to make people happy. Will do anything for them. Yet, I get fucked over. Always. Just remember dates of importance. It shouldn't be that hard. Lol I think some men truthfully don't know what to do when women treat them so well. They freak out. And want to be treated like assholes. So, after every breakup like every woman does, we put them on blast. and call them DUMB ASSES. Most of them will never grow up. They won't settle down. They won't find any girl that treats em good, because they will stick it in anything that moves.
I do NOT get the point of cheating. If you want to cheat, leave. Plain and simple. I have never once cheated on someone. I don't get why people do. I stayed true to my vows the 18 months Matthew and I spent apart. He couldn't. Some of his so called "friends" knew he was cheating. Thanks for the 411 guys!! I am so much happier being away from him. Being free. Having a stable and loving family for Gunner. I think, I have learned so much from every relationship. You cannot trust anyone right away. ;)
What are some shitty relationships YOU'VE been in?!
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