Ah, last minute christmas shopping online. After a long day of car shopping... and my son screaming while getting his hair cut.... I was runnin on 45 minutes of sleep! Lord have mercy. I am badass. Super mom. Then, I passed out on the couch for a good couple hours. haha.
Men, Military men. had this conversation today. Your damn hot. HAVE YOU SEEN YOURSELVES IN UNIFORM?! Drool, grovel, whatever. Then when that uniform comes off, you speak, and I lose interest in looking. And for christ sake if I hear one more MARINES or NAVY commercial... I will go crazy.. "a global force for good" haha. uhh, no. I was married to a sailor. Today, I told him, sometimes I wish I could punch him the nuts and be on my way. He talks to me like I'm 6. First off, you dumbass. You are JUST now sending our son's shit, and behind on child support. Secondly, selling the yukon does not count for child support. Lastly, you say you miss Gunner and I? How about checking on your son more than once every 3 months. That would be a plus. Also, Every single time I see your name pop up on my phone, I think I am dealing with the anti-christ. I seriously think you are Satan. Now, you and one of the home wreckers go on your merry way. Michelle Spaulding. I hate your face. I hope you slip on a patch of ice, and seriously injure yourself. :) Thanks for making me realize I was with an unfaithful dicknozzle.
OH! Christmas shopping. I never ever wanna wait last minute. I'd have more money in the bank if I didn't. haha. I'm a cheap ass. I like to have money in my account. I save save save! Shit, I wanna go to Hawaii, and see my bestest friend, KRISTIE! Holy balls. The amount of hell we would raise :) Just on a beach during the day next to some over weight tourist. and LAUGH our asses off :) I'm sorry, they should definitely stop making bikinis at a certain size. If your ass cheek looks like 9 raccoons wrestling in a bag of feed corn. NO TO THE BIKINI! I am sorry, if you are 390 pounds you do not need to be wearing one. Glad you have the confidence to, I, among 95% of the island do not wanna see that. I think my son would run and cry to me and think it was a monster. Or this case, Jabba the Hut wanting his food, not money. food.
It's really lonely around this time of year. I really get into a scrooge mode in my head. If you cannot tell by my words up above. I literally hate not having someone to cuddle with when it is cold. To spoil during the holidays. Bake cookies for and make em fat :) Actually, any baked goodies for that matter. I am actually a sweetie. with a huge heart. I just hate stupid, ignorant, dumbasses. Most people do. Okay, everyone does. I just want someone who can be an idiot with me, has the smartass attitude. As tall, or taller than I. Loves being cooked for, and spoiled, who will be happy happy happy. Doesn't mind I have a kid. Don't mind watching movies or playing video games. from Borderlands to COD to Mass Effect. Just kicking ass. Nerdy. And sexy. Oh, tattoos are a plus. TATTOOS ARE SEXY.
Hmmm, that's all I gotta say, JACK!
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