Pumpkin means Fall. Which means... KYLIE IS OBSESSED WITH EVERYTHING.

As I sit here with CMT on in the background, my little man passed out in my bed still, and pumpkin spice coffee in hand. I decided to write. About what? I really have no idea. But, I am actually into someone. Here. In OKC. OKLAHOMA EFFING CITY. Everyone that lives here knows I thought it was more than impossible to find someone that I could even remotely tolerate in this city. Let alone, the state. Someone, anyone, if you would see this ridiculous smile I have on my face when I am near this person. You would think I was sick with some sort of fever. 

Also, with it being Autumn, Fall, The Harvest Season... I am obsessed... hoodies, snuggling, bonfires, changing of the colors, road trips to Arbuckle Mountains, dressing my son up in some extremely dapper clothing, more pinup shoots, thanksgiving (my ultimate fatty day.), owl decor everywhere, and my weird obsession that my ex husband, Zak, Dustin, Kristie, & Boston know that it should be borderline therapy obsessed. I get photos from some. I am talking coffees, creamers, creamcheese, scents for my car, perfumes, hand sanitizers, conditoners, shampoos, body washes, the look of pumpkins, pumpkin decor, I mean it allllll!! Even Gunner knows he is turning like his mommy. LOVES THEM. I swear, If there was a place where it was Fall ALL YEAR ROUND, I would move there. I know it is scientifically impossible. But, if the scientists at Harvard made a lightsaber. Maybe, they could scientifically make me an island of Autumn. Hahaha. Ah.. Told, you obsessed. 

Now, that all of you might think I am absolutely crazy, I mean batshit loco, You probably still enjoy me knowing my weird obsession. Did I mention my car has a pumpkin portable for scents from Bath and Body Works? It has the scent of leaves. YAY! 

Good news, I should be divorced from Satan himself soon. Took a year and a half. But, we got there. I may throw confetti in the court room, air horn. IT ALL. May even kiss the judge and my lawyer Roger Rabbit style. I seriously am so ready to be off his horrible grasp of life. He is like a bad omen that is always there. It is sad that some of his old Submariners have joined my side. Muhahaha. :) 

That my friends is why I love living here for the time being. I have a huge support system, My son being my biggest support! :)

xoxox
Kylie

Don't Judge A Book By The Cover.

Don't judge a book by it's cover. Something everyone should live by. My parent's taught me that at a young age. But, if you are covered in tattoos from head to toe, you might be a serial killer or trashy. I keep getting more tattoos. I am a damn good mom. It doesn't change who you are or how you raise kids, act in public. They are just forms of art that I would rather just express on my body. I recently met a person. Well, about two weeks after I started my new job. He is covered in tattoos, and everyone I have met that has been covered in ink has seriously been some of the coolest and laid back people I have ever met. The whole thing in church growing up how it is wrong to have them, or they were probably in jail is a lie. Yes, some people still think that way. My generation, 95% at least have one on them somewhere. It is 2013. Learn to live with it. So, back to the badass I met. He put my pinup girl on me, spreads the word of Christ to clients and has a prayer board in his office. First and foremost that right there is pretty rad. I mean that is something that is admirable. We have became pretty close and to show that he has God first in his life is amazing. I wonder what would have happened if I decided to stay in Hawaii and keep going under Tim Goodrich's apprenticeship at Aloha Tattoo. Where and what Gunner and I would be doing in life. Would I have listened to Matthew? That man there is covered as well and has to be one influential men in Hawaii to many. Whether it be artists or the people who he gets to change daily with his tattooing he does. I HIGHLY recommend anyone to go to him in Oahu. People judge to fast with tattoos. What does it mean? None of your damn business, actually.

People are way too fast to judge people. I loved the kid that came in with his parents last night sporting a Batman cape. Hell yeah! I love parents that let kids express themselves. Capes, vivid imagination. Shit, let them act like a dinosaur for all I care. They love it. I discipline my kid. So many people look down on that now. Timeout or spanking makes you a horrible mom. I am not judging you for not disciplining your child. I vaccinate. I thoroughly did research and I still decided to vaccinate. I still get judged for it. Guess what?! Keep to yourself! I LOVED when I was pregnant and elderly folks would look at me like I was 17 and pregnant. I got asked once if I was with the man. I snapped and said, he is deployed thanks. For christ sake, most folks were 16-18, married, and pregnant in the 40s-50s and they judge us. Thanks MTV for that. I have learned not to care what others think. I am doing the best for my child. I bust my ass to make him happy! Almost done with his awesome bedroom! :) 

Whether you have tattoos, vaccinate, discipline, employed or not, strip, wait tables. Whatever, keep doing what you are doing. Don't listen to anyone else. Not even those voices in your head. ;) 

Kylie

If I let you into my heart for even a split second, be kind to shut the door on your way out.

Alrighty... well, it has been a while since I have written in here, hasn't it? So, much has happened. Had a boyfriend for a while. He left me for some chick that has been around his platoon more times than I can say bless your heart. That's cute. ;) Then, I met a guy who I thought was attractive. Told him to come to the bar one night and we talked outside for a bit, and told each other one was attractive. Weeks go by. Keep talking here and there, watch Breaking Bad at my place. We kissed. Then, well. things get awkward. He won't look at me or even speak to me. He tells me, He wasn't ready for a relationship like he thought and even admitted to being a complete asshole to me. I kinda brushed it off. Being single is a lot better sometimes. I have my little man to take care of. He first and foremost comes first. ALWAYS. Sorry I'm not sorry about having my priorities in line and in check about what I need to have first. That my friends is my son. 

Now, if you see me, I have a fake smile on a lot. I have a lot of stress. Work, Gunner's constant skin conditions that Dr's cannot 100% diagnose correctly until I make a huge fuss. I left the hospital. I pretty much blocked out my past and Hawaii. Except the good parts where friends and where I was told I was going to have a baby. Now, 2 years old and has tantrums and cute moments. I am a mom. I love the snuggles and the melting of my heart. I dislike the tantrums and the not listening, and hitting. Gunner's dad is pretty much a figment of my imagination. He pops in from time to time. Very rarely, and yeah.... that's about it...

I'm waiting for a man who is kind enough to pick up the pieces where Matthew left off and be there as a family together. Not asking him to be a father right away. Hell if I even introduce my kid to someone until I am comfortable and know it will be serious. I want a man who isn't a man at first and turns out to be a boy. I want a man who writes love letters, makes me smile daily, has goals and ambitions and supports one another in everything that we would do. I would spoil and make them happy. Hell, my little sister had the best man in her life. HE DID EVERYTHING FOR HER. He is like a brother to me. He was the perfect man for her. I told her to not let this one go, because women would kill to have a man like him. I am just trying to find a guy who opens my car door for me. haha. Ah. 

I made an amazing new friend at work. Her name is Kirby. She seriously is one of the coolest dames you will ever meet. We have seen each other at weak parts in our lives and strong points. This is a friend who is the bees knees. She can tell when something is bothering me, and could see hurt in my eyes about a week ago. A true friend right there. When all is going bad, you need a friend to rely on. She was there. There are days where I would love to pack our things up and move to Australia. Even a vacation to Hawaii or California would be heavenly. Just Gunner and I against the world.

People, I have a story to tell. Few know that story, My dad, and my last boyfriend, Michael. They know a lot about me. Granted Michael was in the friendzone and I pulled him outta that zone to be crushed. Eh, Hakuna Matata. I seriously have no more "fucks to give" I believe they are falling from the sky around me. I just don't care anymore. 

I am blunt, and brutal when it comes to honest opinions. I could care less what people think of me. Yet, I am "too nice" hell, I am not here to please anyone but myself, and my son, Gunner. THAT IS IT... I have goals, ambitions. 

To open a restaurant/bakery in 5 years with my pops. 
Graduate college!! Psychology and criminal justice.
Be in a happy and loving relationship.
Have a house.
Have Gunner the best life he could ever ask for <3

Sometimes I just feel like I should want to break down and bawl my eyes out. Just to not be strong all the time for Gunner and just cry from all the stress. But, that would need for me to have emotions. Besides sweet, caring, and honest. I would need a manual book on women and read it how to be bat shit crazy and cry. Then be on a roller coaster of emotion... Second thought, I would rather just be my awesomely, badass self, and keep on truckin... 

If you don't like it. Well, I wasn't thinking of you when I decided to be who I am. I just do not care. Don't care if you don't like my short hair, my tattoos, or anything else. 

I am just in extra bitch mode right now. 

JUST DON'T FUCK ME OVER. and we will be good.


Kylie.

Livin in the HEARTLAND will ALWAYS be my HOME.

Oklahoma. 

To me, it is home. My dad was born here, lived here with my Uncle Joe in the summertime, my little sister was born here, my son was... I was raised here since I was 2! This place might have tornadoes, earthquakes, flash floods, blizzards, drought with fires, ice storms, ridiculous heat. 120 sometimes... ridiculous winters... oh hey -25 windchill. Oh, don't forget the bipolar mother nature who seems to be on her time of the month 365 days out of the year here. 87 degrees one day, 30 and snowing the next. We will have all 4 seasons, in a 24 hour period. No joke. It's home though. We might always complain about how dreadfully dry and muggy it is, and how you can cut the air with a knife. We also complain when it is freezing with no ice or snow, or when we get a so called "blizzard" when we get a dusting. Even when we do get real blizzards and by hour 6 we want to strangle most of our family members. We enjoy our crazy, awesome home. 

Red dirt music, red dirt roads, floatin on the river... or taking the trucks, jeeps, four wheelers out to the river, sand dunes, muddy back roads. We love it. Well, I do. I get excited hearing about rain. Knowing I can go get stuck out in some mud, or get extremely dirty from it spraying everywhere. I cannot wait to show my son! This is how your momma and her friends all had fun. Being with one another. Bon fires, music cranked up, singing like a horrible hopeful on American Idol. Cruising down Route 66 from Small Town USA. Calf Fry, Jake FM, Two Stepping. All of it. Oklahoma is Home. I love it. 

Grapes of Wrath, Oklahoma!, Cars... We are in movies, musicals you name it. The porche from CARS. (disney/pixar) is about us. We are more than you expect. Our state song is from the musical, Oklahoma! Grapes of Wrath. Dust Bowl startin here. 

OU Football baby! We are number 1. My team anyways. We are a competitive state. OSU and OU go at it once Football season starts. There is only ONE Oklahoma.

Don't forget to Thunder Up. Especially in Loud City, Thunder Alley, your workplace, all around the nation, anywhere. We have the best team ever. EVER. Suck it Lebron. :)

Bible Belt, Lord have mercy... We don't care if you are gay, we don't care if you love a hooker, we don't care if you are Atheist. We learned to love one another in church regardless of people's flaws. From Southern Baptist to Greek Orthodox we have em all. Now, if you are coming from outta state and wanna buy liquor on certain holidays. For example, Christmas, New Years, 4th of July, Thanksgiving or Labor Day. Ain't gunna happen, Jack. Better buy before 9 pm too. Oh, and our beer content sucks. 3.5%. Anyways, saying Bless your heart. Is the sweet way of saying F**k off or you should just shut up, you are an idiot. Trust me, I use it a lot. Sometimes we use it in a serious way, saying it like we mean it. Like, Bless your heart, sweetie. Hope ya get better. We mean it in that context right there just like that. We care for you. 

Deer, Turkey, Duck, Boar. October 1st should be a Holiday here in Oklahoma. More people get excited about Deer season than anything. Some people live off of it. Your first kill. The adrenaline rush seeing a buck out in the distance usually tailing a doe or two. Right outside your blind, tree stand, or you walk upon it. Even if you come home empty handed. You are the happiest just going out to the woods, not a care in the world, dressed in your coveralls, thermals, or just some camo attire. If you cannot tell the difference between redhead, realtree, or mossy oak, some people here will stare at ya in a bizarre state of mind. Yet, no one cares because you are wearing the shades of the gods. 

When a disaster happens here in Oklahoma or anywhere.. Our hearts are filled with care and worry. April 19, 1995 a man, named Timothy McVeigh bombed our Murrah Building downtown. Killing 163 people. Many children were lost, many parents, just loved ones in general. Every year when that day rolls around... our hearts become heavy. I remember exactly where I was when it happened. My momma was in the kitchen. I was watching Nick Jr.. Face was on TV. Something started shaking our house. My mom called my dad, turned it to the news and started crying. Everyone back in California was calling to make sure we were okay. I remember driving downtown to see the building. How horrific it looked. I was not even 5 yet. I went to the memorial museum in July of 2011. Right before my son was born. I won't lie, I got teary eyed. How can someone do something like this? Why do people do things like this. And he was an American. Which made it even worse. Our community always comes together at a time like this to comfort one another. 

Tornadoes. May 3, 1999. Running from the tornado to Chandler, OK. to hide in a basement of a church there. My grandma showed up to our house here in OKC from Chandler and my dad said we gotta run. We didn't know if hiding in our bathroom cabinet and tub was enough to save us. Granted it was going to, but, living here, the paths change CONSTANTLY. We got a storm shelter not too long after that. Moore was flattened that year. Stroud had their biggest business demolished. A tornado warning and/or watch has been issued every year I have lived in Oklahoma on my birthday. June 13th. The most recent tornadoes... May 20, 2013... All I remember is staring at the TV going Oh my god. And texting my boyfriend saying oh my god. oh my god. It's worse than May 3rd. You couldn't get ahold of anyone. People at work lost their homes, someone couldn't find their brother (but did eventually, thank god.) Friends lost their homes. But, they were alive. The biggest impact, was crying hearing that children were deceased. Drowned or killed by the twister. Kids. Who had their whole lives ahead of them. I came home from work and held my son even tighter that morning. Thanking God he was here, and in my arms. Because, some people couldn't get to hold their loved ones anymore. My best friend was a first responder. He was deployed to the elementary school, Plaza Towers, where he had to see things no one should EVER have to see. I know I couldn't have done that. I would have had a mental breakdown. Then yesterday. May 31, 2013 Mass flooding, Damaging homes, going through the I-35 highway lifting cars a bit off the ground, scaring people, no doubt, flooding cars, sitting in the shelter for an hour and 5 minutes. You know when Gary England takes his jacket off on News 9 it is serious, and about to get real. If Mike Morgan wears his bedazzled ties that some blind lady picked for him. You know it is gunna be one dramatic evening of events. 

Okies always will rise together. We are like a phoenix, rising out of the ashes and the ruble to become stronger and better than ever. More glorious than before. We will heal. We are one. A community. A family of a little over a million. We are Oklahoma Strong. I might wanna pull my hair out living in the nation of crazy and awesome. Politics make me wanna move sometimes to Australia or Scotland. But, Oklahoma is home. I always find myself back here. I might move away one day for good. I will always come back though. The red dirt on my skin, the river flowing as my blood, and the wind in my hair. Oklahoma is love, a family, happiness. We make you feel at home if we just met ya, and we will invite you with open arms. Come visit this place we call home.

xoxo
Kylie

Let's Catch Up...

Holy balls. So, I know I need to write in here more. I always think about when I need to or what I have in mind!! 

First thing is first. THE CHIVE MEETUP IN DALLAS THAT WE HAD ABOUT A MONTH AGO. yes. A month.... haha

It was EPIC. I got to get away for a couple days and enjoy my best friend. Pillows divided the bed and all. Yeahhh buddy. Apple Pie Moonshine... Thinking of Jake Owen the whole time I would get it, make it, or whatever. Met so many new people. Danced like a fool. Drank crazy amounts of alcohol. And last but not least, got to let loose. Now, I haven't got to "let loose" since I got pregnant in November 2010. I never go out, if I do, it is to a movie. or to a bonfire and back home in like 2 hours. There were stuntman shots, the cops called a billion times to the hotel. People blaring music at 7am!! ON WEEKENDS AND VACATION. NO. GO BACK TO SLEEP. bahaha. If you don't CHIVE ON. or come to my OKC Meet. Which I have seriously been lacking on this past week. Sorry! I worked 48 hours last week. haha. 

Gots me a boyfran.. oh, hai boy, hai. WTH? yeah. I'm running on two hours of sleep today! We knew each other in Hawaii, reconnected last year, and skyped while I was in Dallas, before then, connected, like hey you! yeah, your face. I like that shit. If you can talk in Star Wars quotes and imaginary scenarios. Then, you pretty much stole my heart. We pick on each other. and I absolutely am happier than I have been in a long time. This woman doesn't settle. She picks with love and care. :D

People getting married. EVERYWHERE!!! Congrats to you all!! If I ever remarry and get to that point. Divorce is NOT an option. You cheat you get the boot. I ain't dealing with that shit again, haha. Better grab some whiskey go sit down, think of why you two fell in love and work that shit out! Fight for one another. Couples give up too easily. I waited 5 months of knowing about all the cheating to confront him. Oh, hell. the proof along made him not happy. But, hakuna matata. My son and I deserve better. Couples fight all the time. Over petty shit! Like who the fuck says, You killed my fish, I'm leaving you! Bitch. It is a fish. A FUCKING FISH. haha. or You had a dream about Rhonda.  You must be cheating! First off, sit down, and leave this woman. She is psycho.

GUYS!! HERE IS A LIST OF WHAT YOU NEED IN A WOMAN.

1. SHE CAN COOK! Good god, WE don't like twigs. Or woman that burn ramen noodles. Come on now.
2. She loves you unconditionally.
3. She trusts you! She puts all her heart and soul into you! Better keep that close to your head. Screw heart. Ya'll sometimes need to think deep.
4. She doesn't ask about weird things. Like, I went through your phone contacts. Who is Courtney? LEAVE THEN.
5. She has interests that you do!
6. She is down to earth. For Christ sake... We don't need drama and you getting grays in the first 6 months because of some broad.
7. She is chill with you going out, drinking, partying, hanging around girls. 
8. She doesn't need a manual to understand her.
9. She tells you everything that is wrong! She communicates with you. 
"Babe why are you mad?"
You said this, and it upset me a bit.
"Oh, I am sorry, won't happen again. love you." 

I just solved all your problems. don't fight about it. MOVE THE FUCK ON.
10. She supports you, stands by you, if you are in long term, long distance ish, She will most likely tell you where she is at, what she is doing, where she is going, because she trusts you and wants you to trust her. She fucking likes you. you like her. 

GIRLS.
1. He picks on you and return with some smart ass remark right back. And likes it... keep him.
2. Sends you flowers and shit just because he wants to. Don't ask questions. Like that man. 
3. If you have KIDS. and He doesn't GIVE A CRAP that he is now a jungle gym. He's a blue ribbon winner.
4. Tells you the honest to god truth if some experimental food tastes like bigfoots dick. Don't get fucking butthurt.
5. Stands by you and supports you in any decision you decide to make or when you are sad, he lets you vent to him and what not. 
6. Let's you take a crap ton of pictures of him. Most men aren't that fond of pictures, unless drunk, marriage, holding newborns. 
7. If you like chick flicks and he watches them with you without wanting to shoot himself. High five.
8. Can stand you when you sound like a demon needing to be exorcized while on your period. 
9. Sings in the car like a banshee with you. 
10. Spontaneous, adventurous, brave, courageous, sexy, funny, nerdy, dorky, awesome. Non-douchebag like attitude, has a vocabulary that can exceed a 5th grader, and has his shit together. STAY WITH THE MAN. JESUS CHRIST. DON'T NEED A DAMN MANUAL TO UNDERSTAND THEM. THEY WANT FOOD, LOVE, SEX. AND BOOZE.

you skanks. wait until you are with the man and/or love the dude to have sexy time. that is a huge part of you that you are giving to someone. jeeze.

I feel like having dreams and loving myself right now. I am dead tired. My bed sounds like the most comfortable place on Earth. I have to see what is going on with Day 3 of severe weather. Day 2 of crazy tornadoes. Bring it on. I even took Gunner's car seat out of my car because I know my car is about to be raped by more hail. That thing was expensive. 

Now, I am going to attempt some sleep before tornadoes hit and I have to go to work. 

xoxo
Kylie

PS. I should have my pinup page running soon. <3

Please do the world a favor and do not breed.

Alright. I am heated! Pregnant people... WHY IN GOD'S NAME DO YOU GO TO THE BAR AND CLUBS, AND STRIP CLUBS ON YOUR OWN FREAKING FREE WILL?! YOU HAVE A CHILD WHO DOESN'T NEED ALL THAT SMOKE, THE BEERS YOU ARE DRINKING AND  SHOTS, AND GOD KNOWS IF YOU ARE DOING DRUGS. For CHRIST SAKE. Your baby comes first. I hope your husband, baby daddy, boyfriend whatever. Thinks you are an idiot. I sure do. Give the baby to someone who actually would love to have a child and cannot. I would adopt your baby. So many people who cannot get pregnant would love to have your baby. You do NOT deserve to breed. AT ALL. Change your damn ways, worry about the baby, and get the fuck on with the little one's life. I see some people who are more worried about going out to the clubs and shit than worry about who is growing and relying on mommy on the inside.

Honey Boo Boo's mom and Snooki are better parents than you immature idiots. I could and would NEVER do that. The moment I found out I was pregnant. I threw my can of snus out, my cigarettes out, stopped drinking all caffeine and stopped drinking alcohol. If you wonder why your child comes out with RSV or heart, and other lung related issues. Please go back and remember you were the worst person ever during your pregnancy. Thanks. I cannot fathom how many stories I have heard when I went in to Baptist about girls who were doing cocaine and shit and their babies died 2 days before the due date. Seriously. you should go to hell for doing that to your child. 

I love my child. Gunner will always come first. Top Gun is my world. I cannot imagine life without him. I do not like going out very much because I am all that he has! My ex husband is a douche and is not even in his life. And I have been a single mom pretty much since day 1. Put your big girl panties on and GET WITH THE PROGRAM. BE A MOTHER. BE A GOD DANG MOM TO YOUR CHILD. After your child is BORN, do NOT go out a week or a month after the child is born. THEY RELY ON YOU FOR EVERYTHING. EVERY LITTLE THING. YOU ARE TEACHING THEM EVERYTHING. I didn't go out until my 1st wedding anniversary and I was such a wreck, I was texting Kristie to make sure Gunner was okay. he was 4 months old. Went again when he was 6 months old to FIND A HOUSE IN SC. Responsible adult stuff. I am going out next weekend for a little time to myself. BECAUSE. I NEVER do. I work, take care of Gunner. Bust my butt, and had this planned two months ago. 

So, horrible parents of epic fucking proportions to your babies and toddlers. Get a clue. Be a parent. Be better than Honey Boo Boo's mom and for christ sake get your shit together.

XOXOX
Kylie

Love is strong. It always wins

Since everyone is putting their two cents into the gay marriage.

They deserve equality. Love is love. Let them love madly, truly, and happily. Let them have tough times together as a married couple and come out even stronger. Let them plan the wedding of their dreams! They aren't killing anyone by doing so. They want what we have. Besides, homosexuals divorce rate in other States, are a crap ton lower than heterosexual couples. They deserve to have families whether or not they do get married. And raise kids. Being gay is not a choice. They are born that way. Every single male that I know who is gay. said they knew they like little Tommy instead of sally when hey were in grade school. Now, if you think it is a choice. Being an asshole is a choice. And assholes still get married. So, let them. :)

Now, while I'm laying in bed feeling like I have been stabbed in the lower abdomen with mother nature smiling. Gunner has his feet across my chest, and cannot get comfy either. He keeps tossing and turning. Oh, I write this on my phone, by the way. I just wonder why so many douche nuggets out there give a shit about gay marriage!? Not so long ago interracial couples was a crime, folks that were not white had to ride in the back, had their own drinking fountains, bathrooms... etc.  Not anymore. Women couldn't vote nor drive. Now we can. Well some women still suck at driving. I for one do not. But, we should let them get married! Who gives a flying fuck about what they do in the bedroom. Hell, have you seen a porn? 90% of those women do shit that most normal women cannot. Nor men. I bet the same people who are wierded out by breast feeding are against marriage for gays. Just shut the hell up. One, what they do inside the bedroom is their business like what a straight couple does in their room is their business. It is 2013. Not year 1200. Get with the program. Did you know that Julius Cesar liked men? Did you know that Napoleon did too? Just to let you know, IT HAS BEEN HAPPENING FOR A FUCKING EVER. I support it. I could care less if you don't. Just let them be happy. They aren't hitting on you, so get over yourselves.

I love my homosexual friends. They make me laugh, smile, and my friend MCL knows a lot about my life. Oh, do ya sell the crepes? Lol.

Neil Patrick Harris is gay. Some people still do not know that. Would never have known, huh? The man who plays Sheldon Cooper is too. Didn't know that for a while myself. They aren't killing anyone. They are Badass. Enough said.

Now, everyone. Shut up. Let em get married, have babies, have sex,  whatever. They can even endure the miserable but I still love your stubborn ass kind of marriage that straight couples go through after 25-50 years of marriage. Love is love. No matter how, with who, or any of the sorts. I support it. You should too.

xoxox
Kylie.

Girls want attention Women want RESPECT

Alrighty then. Let's see here. I have been dealing with the military and Douchebag for way too long now. He is about to be served with a fistful of justice and a chewing of the bum by his chain of command. It is what happens when you are a deadbeat and don't man up to your responsibilities. 

Now,  ladies. When you are in your skibbies and posting them on the Internet or covering your boobies with your hand and posting it on the world wide web. As in, Instagram or Facebok, I have ultimately no respect for you. Girls, as I will call you, must not realize that billions of people can see what you post. You will not find your dream man or any respectable man for that matter. If you are spreading your legs to everyone and their dogs. No one will want you. I for one see this crap all the time and they wonder why they cannot get a MAN with his priorities in check. Let's see why... cover your breasts, bottom, and speak a language we can understand. Yolo or Swag does not pay bills, does not sound classy, and above all, childish. You want a man!? Do not look in bars, clubs, or MLK Blvd. Hahaha. Had to. Had to. You want a Drake or Justin Bieber like man. Might ad well find a pimp. They might treat you like Chris Brown. Or a pimp. Find a man who is ready to love, settle down, and had his life in order. No one wants my ex husband. I'll tell you that much. A 27 year old manchild. He has more debt, and affairs than I can count. 

I for one want a man who will be laid back, converse with me, hang out, does not mind that I have a toddler, loves me for me, respects, supports, and cares for me. I, in return shall do the same. I love and care deeply when my heart is open. It is pretty hard to let my hopes up, knock my guard down or anything for that matter. Now, lets say you tell me, I am all you think about, cannot get me off of your head at work, and care for me. (When I am into you as well) and start being standoffish. I will stand back. Let you breathe, get your head in check, understand you have a lot on your plate, as well as mine, and be on my merry way. So simple! I am an open ear for everyone and a shoulder to lean on when you have a rough day. Regardless of friendship or whatever. Back to square one and be awesome. Even though I would like to know if I did or said something to make you stand offish. Shit, I am AMAZING. I put my child first, work, have my priorities in order, have a job, and bust my ass. I will check on you and make sure you are doing quite dandy for the day and be good. Easy, right? Yes.

I am a simple girl. I like you to remember certain dates. Pop in with a card or an acknowledgement that I exist on those dates and be fine. I love to cuddle and hold hands. And give kisses. Seriously, wine and star wars. I am 100% OKAY with that. Why!? I love it. Last weekend, I seriously sat at the house on St. Paddy's day and snuggled with my son! That was a lot more fun than getting drunk. Trust me. I don't babysit overgrown 20-30 something year old children. Handle your own. And know your limits. Don't do drugs and excessive alcohol. I swear we will be good. And I love to cook. Let me cook for you. Seriously. I could end world hunger with my cooking. Care about hygenie. Please. I like a man who takes care of himself. Doesn't mind to get some grease on him. Just smell good for Christ sake.


Now I know I am pretty awesome. I don't have many fucks to give. Do NOT need a manual with me. And am pretty straight forward. But, I have insecurities like all women. I look in the mirror and want a toned core that I work hard to get. And push for that goal. I want to look like a super sexy woman. I am pretty already. but, to be hot damn. That's what I want. I want to not feel like I can be out of your league. Which I seriously feel like to any man I think I'd date. Most women go, I don't know how I got you. You are amazing. It is because, you both are fucking fabulous together.  And make others want to vomit with how cute you are. And that right there is what I want. Haha. Oh God, so much cute!!  Just ready to settle down. If you throw a hissy fit, I will give you a beer, have you sit in the other room, breathe, and work this shit out. Divorce sucks. I never want to go through it again. Ever. Now. I am on team forever alone. Woo! 

Not going to rush, just taking my time. Waiting for someone to sweep me off my feet, and have the best for Top Gun and I.

Women. Respect a man. And have a mature conversation and dress like a woman, have goals and ambitions, I swear you will have respect and a man. Act like a 15 year old at a HS party. Then, that's what you will get.

Xoxox

Kylie 

I'd ride an AT-AT wielding Thor's hammer into battle; while the Cantins Bar music is playing for you .

So, as I sit here in the nurses station currently listening to Carrie Underwood's, Blown Away... I think I would love to be rocking out with a kareoke machine with the fellow co-workers. That right there would be entertaining as hell. I would give myself a medal for bestscreech owl attempting to sing some Dixie Chicks or something. 

Now, I did some facts the other day about myself. I should do goofy facts right now and some other random crap. Why? I'm awesome, and the funniest person EVER.

1. I LOVE to cook and bake. Fool, I would make you as fat as Jabba the Hut. I just have noone to bake for except my child. And my fat ass is addicted to cookies. Lay out some chocolate chip right now, so I can stare and wish I could eat one.

2. Applesauce. And Avacadoes. Not together. But I seriously could live off of those lovely consumptions. Nom nom nom.

3. I wish my ex would get sprayed by a skunk. He would smell as repulsive as he is.

4. I cannot get this one person off my head. I seriously have this butterfly feeling when I talk to him. Holy crap, Kylie. Get it together.

5. I wish I could race in NASCAR. yes. Nascar. When I was little I wanted to badly.

6. I love the outdoors. Camping. Hunting. Fishing. All of that. If you didn't know that, or don't like that, I am dragging you camping in a TENT. Screw that RV crap.

7. I love to dance. Whether it be in my underwear, at work, the car, or in a class. ANYWHERE. I love it. I probably scare people at stoplights I do dance. All sexy like. White girl style. Holler girlllll. Haha.

8. I laugh super easily. I mean it is not hard at all.

9. I have this weird obsession with pumpkins and fall in general. the word obsessed doesn't even cover it. Oh, I love lilies. Tigerlily especially.

10. Blake Shelton. So, his music since I was 11 has been legit. God Gave Me You is my song to Gunner. Gunner makes my days better. If he wasn't married to my woman crush, Miranda Lambert. I would rape him. Hahaha.  Tie him up to my bed post and leave him there. ;) 

11. Disney movies, Star Wars, Comics. Hello you nerds. I am a closet nerd. I seriously love  everything about it all. I get more excited about Disneyland than most 5 year olds. Move outta my way children. The space mountain is calling my name. Tower of Terror!! I wanna ride that without freaking out. 

12. I have a love hate relationship with scary movies. Or needles nor anything that will freak me out. I can watch the Hills Have Eyes. But I cannot watch the Ring. Hell, I couldn't even watch a guy put a needle through his arm on this show called, freakshow last week I literally cowered into a ball. I am a pansy with a a capital P.

13. When I am in a relationship or keen on someone. I love kissing. God. I am a kisser. Pecks on the cheek, mouth, forehead. Wake up and kiss you gently. I am a passionate person. I have a thing for guys that are bald or have facial hair. Or both! Haha! But, in all seriousness. I love cuddling, and kissing. Cuddles, kissing, holding hands. Best. Ever. :) 

14. I sound like a boy hitting puberty when flowers bloom in spring. Damn those Bradford pear trees. I sound horrid for a month. Cannot breathe. Cannot sleep. Sound like an idiot. I might as well sound like the creep ass that breathes down your neck in movies. Because, that is me for a while in spring.

15. Last but not least, I seriously would not mind shoving my square toes boots up a couple women's asses. They need a damn reality check. Ha! Get the absolute hell over yourself. And grow up. I just sit there in silence wondering where they turned for the worst being like that, sucking at life, and who raised them to be idiots. Oh, some men are on that list too. Just complete moronic humans are out there. Epic facepalm. 

Love me or hate me. Now, don't go parking like a fucktard who got clawed in the privates by a ferret trying to park while on your cellphone. I will leave notes on how bad you park. Stevie Wonder probably parks better than some people I have came out next to parked by my car. Ha!! 

Xoxox
Kylie. 

The Facts of Life, Kids!!

I am going to do something a little different... Facts about me.

1. I just started getting back into running. To look good for myself, to look as good as a Victoria Secret Angel, and hopefully look good enough for someone where they won't freaking cower and run away when I am in a bikini.... or better yet.... if I ever get into a relationship... Cheat on me... dammit.

2. I live in a family where sweets are their weakness. Now that I am healthy, Gunner and I get frozen yogurt once a week for my "cheat day". We LOVE ICE CREAM!! MY fat kid engages then. and cinnamon applesauce will do until goal acquired....

3. I love my son more than I will love anyone. More than anyone in my family, more than you, more than my future husband. More than Luke Bryan shaking his butt. I love my son to infinity  and beyond!! 

4. I have a love/hate relationship with my job. If I got a $5 pay raise I would love my job until someone pops my back again. 

5. I love tornado season. YES. Bethani and I would pop in the car, go chase em. Now, I don't love it when I was so pregnant I had to push my mom out of the way so my 8 1/2 month pregnant self could run from getting hit in the head with hail into the cellar. That was humorous right there.

6. I care a lot. When I let you into my life, I start caring from day one. Friends, relationship wise. No matter what. If you are in a bind. I will help out with some money, fixing your tire, anything. I seem to not give any fucks lately. Divorce does that to you. But, deep down, I care about everyone. I worry a lot about some people if they are feeling harm, causing harm to oneself, depressed, angry. I try and find a way to help fix the situation. When I start to love someone. I love deeply. Just enough to give you your damn space though. 

7. My biggest fear is I will die lonely. As in no husband no family around. I see things like this at the hospital and would want loved ones around me. 

8. I seriously pray that Gunner's dad will man up and be there one day for him. I want a father figure in his life that will love him as much as me. Seeing Matthew not being there at all, not even child support wise, not even a phone call wise, KILLS ME. I don't get how people can abandon their child.

9. I seriously hate dieting. I want my results so, I stick to it. While I want to drown myself in wine when I step on the scale at my numbers... It is a lot better than 43 pounds ago!
But, If I didn't want to look like a Victoria's Secret Angel, gotta push towards it! Now, I already am a semi-sexy woman. Just could look better! Owning my curves while I have em.

10. I was in a horrible depression for a very long time. I got out of that rut in August-ish. I have anxiety and I could care less what you think about that. At least I don't have a bizarre foot fetish. 

I feel as no matter how hard I try, I will never be good enough

My title is true. I feel like I am way too nice to people and get screwed in return. Whether it be with friends. Or trying to get in a relationship. I don't blow up your phone. I don't act like a crazed fan at a Twilight premiere. I will be fine if I don't talk to you for days or weeks. But, after a bit... my feelings start getting confused. The biggest thing I hear why no one would date me is because I have a son. I never say, hey!! will you step up and be a dad. Since my ex is not in the picture. I don't like it when my guy friends or chick friends offer to help. I get super stubborn and knowing he is my child. I should do all the work. I am me. If you like it. Awesome. If you don't. Too damn bad. I won't change for anyone. I put my son first. He is my absolutely number one thing in my life. Friends come and go. I have become more brutally honest since my divorce. All because I don't give a care to give on what you think. You don't like the truth? Get over it. Would you rather be lied to forever!? No. Some of my friends make me want to take some tylenol pm and relax. Haha.

Men. It really isn't that complex to figure me out. Most women need a damn manual. When I don't have my son. I like to cook, bake, cuddle, watch movies, be awesome together. And preferablly you have to like the Chive like I. I am a tad obsessed with that site. I like wine, whiskey, and brews. I love star wars, Disney, Will Farrell movies, and kissing. I am a huge kisser. I love conversations, and pretty much relaxing on the couch with you. I don't care about clubs at all. I go to the bar once in a blue moon. All I ask is remember certain dates. Even if it is a dang card on my birthday I would be stoked. Not that hard, is it? Preferably hate Valentine's Day as much as me. Oh! Please like video games!! And please know how to at least change a tire on your vehicle. :) I don't need to show you up!! ;) 

Women. Stop being psychotic bitches. Please. You worry about them going to the bar. Not calling you every single night. GET OVER YOURSELVES. they have lives. You have lives. Don't be a damn hypocrite when it comes to shit. Most of you women I would push into he ocean during a jellyfish warning to get it through your heads. If you don't like it that they Ste having a guys night drinking beer and playing some Borderlands 2. Join in. At least he ain't cheating on you.

Now, I ask myself how can someone like I be single? How can someone as awesome as me be alone? easy. I wont settle. don't do drugs. Don't be an idiot. I want to settle down. If I get in a relationship. It hopefully will be long term. why get in one if it is just a short term one? No point. I have my eye on someone. And hopefully he is attracted to me... but I will let it fall into place. It's all up to our fate. Noe. While I go get ready for sleep. Enjoy my blog.

KCCO.
Kylie.
Xoxox

Whatever you do... don't kill anyone.

Yeah, today I am going to write about pregnancy. I am far from it. I don't plan on having another until my ass is happy with someone and Gunner is a good age. Financially stable as well. As I write this. Do not drink anything. (it'll spray across your screen.) Do not piss your pants. (I don't need that, actually... go ahead.) MORE HUMOR FOR ME :) 

No one gave me a damn manual when it came to looking like a beached beluga whale with the world's biggest blessing growing inside of my belly! :) Now, I gave birth in July. It was 115 the day before I popped. I would walk around Bricktown with Gunner's sperm donor, bouncing, in labor every single day for two weeks! I even bed rid myself for two days. I couldn't take it anymore! I wanted to meet my little man. I was in labor for 4.5 hours. Jackson women are made for having kids. Not the 10 pant sizes I gained in my hips. Oh baby bearing hips. More like a cruise ship would sink if they hit my thighs!! I didn't even want them telling me how much I gained anymore. I would step on and cover my ears. I didn't start really showing until 7 1/2 months but still. That awkward are you pregnant or just a fat kid who loves food so much stage was not pleasant. 

The day we found out isn't how everyone else finds out or wants to. Sitting there anxiously or worried looking at a stick covered in your urine. No. It was Kylie, you blacked out, stopped breathing, and I rushed you to the ER, because you fainted twice. Oh. I had a cyst the size of Mt. Rushmore burst on my left ovary. My body couldn't handle the pain. So, there I went... They took urine specimens and blood, Came in all nonchalantly and said, Ms. Jackson you are pregnant. I gave her the look of WHAT THE HELL?! And glared down Douchenugget. I was happy, nervous, scared, nauseated, excited, angry, and shocked. The RN had the audacity to ask me, Would you like an abortion? We can perform one here. I WANT TO KEEP MY CHILD. You sure? Yes, I am sure. What the hell kind of question is that? It is Hawaii after all... Matt went out and smoked about a pack of cigarettes why I sit there staring into oblivion wondering when and where. Then My OBGYN. Dr. Shimomura (coolest dude on island!) Took me up to ultrasound to make sure I didn't have an ectopic pregnancy. Told me how far along I was, and the date I got pregnant. I literally looked at Matt, jaw open and said, I know what day that was. I drank enough to make my birth control not work. I don't remember getting home from the bar hopping. Our roommate TJ told me I was stupid to keep a baby and think of adoption or abortion. I was too young. Yes, 20 is young. I was ready. I made the decision to keep the biggest blessing in my life. I look at him now as he is laying on his Lightning McQueen couch/bed thing. I wouldn't change him for the world. The terrible two stage is driving me nuts sometimes. But, I love him to death. I don't regret any decision with Gunner. He has made me a better human being. I grew up and know he is my number one priority.

Now, you go home beaming with happiness and call everyone. I called my mom, there was silence on the phone. I awkwardly said, I'm sorry? I don't know what to say... 2 weeks later... she was stoked! Now, not everyone was excited. Some people wanted us to come drinking and partying. I would decline and go to sleep. 

No one tells you that you are narcoleptic as shit, hungry like a 15 year old boy hitting puberty, and your nose will bleed randomly and uncontrollably. I ate enough food to make the sailors in the household wonder where I stored it. My boobs, my thighs, and obviously my child. 

You read the book "What To Expect When You're Expecting" and wonder who the fuck came up with some of this?! How in God's name was blowing air into your vagina from getting oral can kill your child. or How a turkey sandwich from Panera Bread might make you sick and harm your baby. Guess what? I ate Panera Bread. Don't care. I was pregnant. I will do what I want. No sushi or some catfish. I am not that stupid. I swear that book put me on edge. I would measure out 8 oz of oj and drink only that 8 oz a day. I stopped drinking Mt. Dew and Dr. Pepper. No coffee, which seemed to kill me. I was tired ALL THE TIME! I still am. haha. 

Some people vomit at the smell or site of something. Oatmeal. Yup, oatmeal, looked like Oliver Twist's meal every single day. Yuck I still have issues wanting to eat it. Broccoli. Eff you. I will not even say the word. Green tree of death is more like it. I never once was visiting the Porcelain God though. Just felt queezy. :) 

Now you can either look adorable or like a 75 year old woman when pregnant. Mom jeans. that are 60 bucks a pop for pregnancy. and some lame ass shirts from motherhood. Forever 21 baby!! haha. I fit in my clothes until 5 months. I used the rubberband around my button so I wouldn't have to look like a fool. Oh but I did. I looked like a member from Teen Mom. I looked like a wee little lass knocked up. With what looked like a small alien at 10 weeks. Cute little one at that!! Then You don't buy comfortable bras because your boobs are growing to the size of Mother Russia. Sore, itchy, killing your back! No one tells you that you will love and hate your boobs at the same time. 

I was an emotional roller coaster. I cried about rain in Hawaii. Ruined my plans for the beach! I was so mad. I cried. Who cries over rain?! Really?!  It rained EVERY SINGLE DAY THERE! I cried during certain songs. Other kids tripping over themselves. Youtube videos of this and that. Love stories... Yes, love stories.

When you are reading some of this book to the baby daddy and you wonder if his penis decided to tuck into his stomach and not come out because of what your va jay jay will look like after birth, or something so beautiful being pushed out a hole the size of a marble. 

Birthing Videos.... Oh good god! Hi, no. just no. NEXT!

Laughing so hard you piddle your pants. Yes, My father told me about his first job ever in Cali when he was 16 at a KFC, and I died so hard... I went, Oops. Ran to the bathroom as I am trickling myself. and barely made it to the toilet. I did a couple times. And you don't stop laughing either. Everyone has stopped and you are sitting there snorting like a hog laughing your ass off at something that ended years ago, in a movie scene flashback, jokes, youtube videos, the works!!

Feeling your child move for the first time is not as cute as you think. You are freaked out, WHAT JUST HAPPENED!? Then you realize you felt a butterfly flutter inside and it was your bundle of happiness moving! MOVING?! Yes. moving. And you become enlightened and glowing and telling everyone in the household what just happened.

The rest is pretty much simple, miserable and huge, Ready to push a watermelon out of your va jay jay as you get your 12" needle down your back and a happy button for drugs so you don't feel your child coming out of said hole while you are shaking like you are about to have a seizure because your body is about to go through a huge change and NO ONE TOLD ME THAT!! Then your doctor is cutting you open and going to stitch you back up with a hooked needle. Holding your loved one's hands and pushing, praying you don't poop on the doc's face or on any of the nurses. Oh! and your water breaking is the best feeling of relief ever. Until about a minute later... 

You hear that first cry and you start bawling! Happy tears! I was so happy and speechless. I didn't even know what to say. I just said, Hello, Gunner. and held his adorable little hand while his fingers wrapped around my index finger. Passing him back off to the nurses who are bathing him and the sloo of family members that come in there and you don't know if you are still urinating everywhere while the epidural is wearing off. All you want to do is hold your child and everyone is still holding them while everyone is encouraging you to eat and you don't wanna vomit everywhere all over because food is just a NO. 

Your RN comes in and baby daddy takes the baby so you can get up and go to the bathroom and attempt this gangster limp thing you have going on because you are swollen, look like your nose is broken, and just dropped 25 pounds... lol. You then sit on the pot with you RN there staring at you making sure you are emptying your bladder and douching yourself with warm water bottle into your stitches and doing this for the next 7 days. 

I love my child and everything. I LOVED being pregnant. The summer heat here in OK didn't want me to be the last month of it. I didn't enjoy the random people coming up and touching my belly. No. NEVER EVER DO THAT. EVER.

Good things come to those who wait..

Alrighty then... haha watched some Ace Ventura this weekend. Do not pass go. Do not collect your 200 dollars. lord...

As I was driving back from Lee's Summit this weekend. I had my ipod on shuffle. Realized what the hell happened to Missy Elliot? Oh my! Hanson! MMMMBOP! I had to step off the country for a bit, since according to the guy I like, I should. Country burns his ears.  So, listening to The Used. They need to come out with some new stuff. Mumford and Sons, they are amazing. They performed at the Grammy's and even won Album of the Year!! September 6-7 I will be in Guthrie jammin out. Trust me. I will. You beautiful British people. Now, The Black Keys, The Lumineers also stole my heart. They already did before, But last night was awesome! Smashmouth.. Yeah Smashmouth. What happened to you? I was loving some 90s. I did get some looks on the way home as I was singing like a freak. I should have got a grammy. Best karaoke session ever! 90s and 80s music! The Smithereens in there went to the 70s even with some MJ. Midtown. The Starting Line. My goodness, Linkin Park. Weezer, I remembered certain nights with some people back in the day. Listening to this stuff. Lit. Music these days... turning into CRAP. Nicki Minaj, Frank Ocean?! What the HELL was that? It was some weird words. Words? I sat there with my jaw hanging off pretty much. Get off your Autotune... And Nicki... You giving music advice on idol is like Taylor Swift giving relationship advice. I wouldn't take it from either of ya'll... Swift is the problem in her relationships. haha. She should get with my ex husband. I think they are both fucked in the head. haha. We need some more people like Freddie Mercury. He was an absolute God with music and the words that flowed out of his angelic voice was magical. Queen was by far one of the best bands ever to walk this Earth. Old Crow Medicine Show, George Strait, ACDC, Metallica, Pantera, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Alabama, good bands. Lil Wayne needs a reality check. Most rappers do. I have it on my ipod due to my sister listening to it. What the hell is Justin Bieber? Music then was written by themselves or help with one writer and produced by one person. Not 7 people, not 9 producers. Real music.


Now, to a new subject.... This past year has been absolute shit for Gunner and I as some of you know. Caught my husband cheating still. He said he "regretted having a baby. He wasn't ready like he thought." Left him. 1/2 our shit is still in Charleston. He sold some of it. Without my permission. I get a call saying he has gone missing from housing he was supposed to be there and he still hasn't shown up for three days. Why is my name still on stuff with him on that house?! Personally, I wouldn't care if the man caught AIDS and died the day before they found a cure. He is so rude, and emotionally abusive. Calls our son a that. Doesn't pay up. I want my shit back. Mainly all of Gunner's stuff, and my 5 pair of cowboy boots! Also, all of my grandma's belongings she left us before she passed. I refuse to go alone or I would kick his ass. I plan on making 2013 the best for us! Now, I want a second job, and preferably a job where I can sleep decently. Not 3 days of 6 hours of sleep. And absolute zero energy drinks out my ass. I had by far one of the best weekends in a long time. My cheeks still hurt from the constant smiling. Waking up smiling! That shit right there people doesn't happen. Smiling is like a rare thing. Since 99.9% of the time in my marriage I was bawling my eyes out like a dumbass. So, as Phil Robertson says. That makes me happy, happy, happy! 


I believe my son was so spoiled rotten this last weekend, he is throwing temper tantrums to Tatoonie and back. But now, he is laying on his little couch thing, drinking his sippy watching Gabba! Tomorrow I blog about pregnancy. Ya'll better wear a diaper. You will be laughing :)

You're dumber than girls who cut themselves for Bieber.

Hey ya'll. First off, some people.... are dumber than a sack of rocks. Peter Griffin's pet rock has more brains than most teenagers in America these days. So, you cut yourself for Justin Bieber... You suck a tampon for fame. First and foremost. WTF? Who in Lord's name sucks their own tampon?! Hellllll no. Your parents must have done a shit ton of acid when they were pregnant with you. Or well, you must have to do that. Not even people on Jackass would slump that low. I would rather eat a cockroach. I bet your family is just so incredibly proud of you. No. I would put you in a psychiatric hospital. Have you evaluated. Given a lobotomy while singing the Ramones into you. You don't deserve to walk among humans. Maybe an island of apes. They would probably wonder what the hell is wrong with you.

Secondly. The cutters for JB. WHAT THE HELL. He smoked a joint. I don't do drugs. I never will. I don't get the point of it. But, weed. Glad you aren't hardcore Snoop Dog fans. Be glad it wasn't meth or heroine. Would you have cut a little deeper? Done us a favor? Only in AMERICA. Do we have some idiotic people. I think that's why my ex husband isn't all there. All the drugs he did before the military. Drugs make you stupid. I was just oblivious. I blame the blonde hair and pregnancy hormones. haha. Please make fun of me all you want. I know, I know he was a total mistake... 

I never hear of other countries having extremely idiotic teenagers attempting immature acts of WHAT THE FUCKERY.

Ah, today at the zoo... WHO dresses up to go to the zoo?! heels and such. Ya gunna mate with a giraffe? Take him out to a nice tree and eat some leaves? He will enjoy that so... -_- 

Walmart... that's a people watching nightmare. It's a train wreck you cannot look away from. It isn't the 70s! WEAR A BRA!! The ONLY time you shouldn't wear a bra is when you are swimming, screwing, showering, or in the house by yourself letting your twins breathe. There should also be a weight limit into certain size clothes. I do not want to see your belly, your hairy ass, If it looks like three raccoons wrestling in a bag of feed corn. NO. All because it zips does not mean it fits. Camel toe x9000 Ughh. If you are wearing any type of lingerie. Go to MLK Blvd. and work it there. I don't wanna see your pre sex attire. I do not want to see your back titty side boob comin out of your cut shirt. I feel like I should be in the movie Deliverance. A Shower would be lovely too! That goes to most employees working there. And some of the creatures you come across. Unless you live with the TMNT's there is NO need to smell like an open sewer. Did your parents tell you it is okay to shower once every full moon? I hope not. 

I should write a book... SERIOUSLY.

END RANT.

xoxoxo

Kylie

Some People Should NEVER Breed.

Hey Ya'll... 

Last week some "girl" (who must be the world's best mother) told me I was a horrible person for disciplining my child. Yes, I say, "No, no. Don't do that. Want to go to time out?" Oh, but yes, when my child is about to break something, or life threatening, I will smack the hand away or spank him. Not where it leaves a mark. But, this child like creature of a woman. Told me when is material possessions more important than your child? I NEVER said that my parent's very expensive TV that my child threw a golf putter into it, yes, my son will get a time out and a spanking. If that broke and shattered into him or fell on him. I would have died inside. I'm sorry you get your parenting advice off of google and Wiki. What the hell is that going to accomplish. I think the ONLY natural mom I can tolerate is my friend Sarah R. Why, you must ask? She doesn't freaking push it down everyone's throat. She doesn't look down on the way other's parent. She doesn't say. Educate before you Vaccinate. She respects other's decisions. I vaccinate. I don't care if you do or don't. But, if you don't, DO NOT push it down other's throats. Have people who get induced, have epidurals, have fake boobs (i don't), or anything like that. Keep your G. Dammed opinions to your damn self. I swear if this mom, named Heather, who was making everyone feel like freaking Satan. hahah. I am a GREAT parent. :) My son loves me, clings to me, is constantly by my side. HELL, I don't know when the last time I could pee in silence without him opening the door and staring into my soul while I take a piddle. haha. I love my little Top Gun. I couldn't help but LAUGH uncontrollably at this woman. I'm sorry. But, you should probably get your priorities straightened out in life. Stop, trying to tell others what to do on FB. You are probably going to get nowhere by doing such a thing. Oh, she also told me to get some more brain cells and learn my information. Ah, well, come to my hospital, I'll tell you a crap ton while you sit there and stare into the dark abyss, wondering what the hell I am talking about. I actually have quite a few. You want an extremely adult conversation? I can literally have a very mature and lovely one. I will go all 35 on you. haha. I'd rather just speak like I'm 22 for the time being. 

I don't get why though that some people think they KNOW EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT BEING A MOTHER. I think my 18 months of experience have over your 3 weeks. haha. I know damn well, I am not God when it comes to parenting. I am still learning, taking advice from everyone. I take advice from Dr. Albiek, my mom, and some of my friends with kids that have been doing this for years. Some strangers too. Why not? Not, stupid, immature, snot nosed humans though. For I should praise them and throw flowers for them just existing! :)

I truthfully dislike people for shoving down religion, politics, or parenting down my throat. I am the type of person who would tell a Jehovah Witness that I am an Atheist. (I'm a Christian.) Just so they will stop stalking the house, and wait like 5 minutes outside of the door. I take Gunner and hide. haha. I don't care about who is right or wrong in your mind. My mind is the only one that matters. It's a messed up, scary, crazy, loving mind though :) 

I think that mother needed some whiskey, love, and to go use a vibrator or something just to make her shut up. She would have been so much nicer I believe. hahaha! I have a feeling I will be getting hell for this. I really do not care. Just think, you started something that was way out of context. I said, I was spanked as a child and I turned out AWESOME. They were too, as they said, and they think it is psychologically degrading to a child's well being and emotional state. It isn't supposed to make them happy. It is out of love and care. You love them so much, you discipline them so they know right or wrong. I will NEVER lay a hand as a slap, or a fist into my child. Shouldn't we be worrying more about those that do? How about the drug and alcohol addicts that don't even care that they have a child. How about dead beat mom's and dad's? Like my ex husband, who doesn't send one dime, only checks in on his son once every 1-4 months. Those we need to give lessons to. Not people who don't want snot nosed brats for children. 

End Rant.