So I was watching the VMA's last night while trying to put my son to bed... I am going to talk about how horrible "music" is today. First off, Nicki Minaj... WTF. When you do thi-i-i-i-sssss You sound like an idiot. What is that word vomit coming out of your mouth? You say it's music. I say it sounds like cats getting hit by an 18 wheeler. You cannot rap for a rats ass. Lil Wayne and 2 chains? WTF. Let's say cuss words that are bleeped out every other second!! Rap is whack. I could rap. Pinup is sexy. My red lips are poppin... yeah, I cannot rap. N***a this N***a that. Fuck. Shit. Damn. Suck my dick! Look I MADE A SONG!! haha. You have like 6 producers. You can't write better material than repeating the same line 90 times?!
Then you have Chris Brown and Aubrey "Drake". DEGRASSI anyone?! PUT YOUR DAMN FUED about Rihanna behind you. CB, you beat women, Drake, you're still in a wheelchair from 8th grade. She doesn't need any of you idiots. She could get anyone and goes for ya'll?! Please. I could be a better mate for her if I was a lesbian.
Green Day. You should at the American Idiot Album. Not going to lie. That music on that album was actually pretty good. You're like 48 now. Billie Joel Armstrong, you're hot and all. But I would have NOT told people to come in and attack me. I want his shirt. Bitch, you're about to get hit with my guitar. GET OFF.
Pink, I LOVE HER. God, she is gorgeous. She has some lungs on her, and can be a badass mom all at the same time. The lips freaked me out a bit. But that's your style. Best performance of the evening. I swear.
Taylor Swift. I am going to do the biggest face palm ever. YOU ma'am, bless your heart. You are what? 23? Please for the love of God STOP WRITING ABOUT THE SAME SHIT OVER AND OVER AND OVER. You're out of HS. Stop telling someone you love them in 24 hours. Maybe you'd have a relationship that'll last. Also, you classifying yourself as country.... YOU'RE POP!! FAR FROM COUNTRY!! If you wrote about stuff like Gretchen Wilson, Miranda Lambert, Martina McBride. Maybe you'd have awesome material. You were cute when I was a sophomore in HS. Your first CD was cute. 10 ALBUMS LATER. IT GETS OLD. I MEAN COME THE HELL ON. Dress your AGE!! 23!! Not 16!! I was waiting for Kanye to come on and be like you still suck ass.
Boy bands... BACKSTREET BOYS, NSYNC, & HANSON. The only boy bands that were acceptable. It just seems weird now. Give me some Nick Carter. I feel like dancin to Larger Than Life. Just saying.
Ke$ha, you look blown outta your mind. Your rich. Who cares. I don't listen to your shit anyways.
Kevin Hart. I'm taller than him. He's hilarious. I don't want to. I wanna go home. Pineapples. Pineapples. I love his comedy. When he dressed as a leprechaun. MADE MY NIGHT!! Keep doin what you're doin short man.
Let's talk about real music.
Queen, ACDC, The Ramones, Blake Shelton, Jason and the Scorchers, Luke Bryan, Old Crow Medicine Show, Metallica, KISS, GREAT MUSIC. Just to name a few. AMAZING. No cussing every second. Can actually play a show. Can actually write music. MUSIC. MTV what happened to music?! Really. Reality shows about sluts and dicknozzles?! Please. Make me famous. I can make music then. Just put me in the Pistol Annies. :)
Music sucks now a days. I am going to listen to some of the Man in Black. He was and will always be amazing.
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