People Watching should be an Olympic sport.

The Oklahoma State Fair. I feel like one of the skinniest people there. I don't have rolls, not one single one. I have some curves. I am happy with those. I am just gunna say. I think there are about 900+ earthquakes happening at the fair. Each time one of those 500+ pound people walk by, I feel the earth shake. Actually, 90% of them are in motorized scooters or chairs and double fisting corndogs. First off, I haven't had fair food in about 6 years. I haven't gone since I was a sophomore in HS. Tonight, that is going to change! I am going to chow down on a funnel cake, rootbeer, and possibly a turkey leg. If I have room after the funnel cake. DESSERT before protein. YUP!! These 10 days outta the year of creepy ass carnies that hit on me. UGH, ya'll put me in the worst mood. I love the livestock, showroom of cars, the made in OK exhibit. Not scary rides that I have to pray to God that, I do not die on a ride that is put up in less than a week and then taken down and travelled across the country in some shitty ass semi. I am completely fine without wanting to die. I will shove my face with delicious food. Then possibly not eat again for a week. Now, when Sarah and I went for about an hour and a half with my son, Gunner. We walked around. Well, barely. It was PACKED. So, we left. I did like the Vodka Lemonade Slushies they were handin out. Thank you very much. I downed that lovely little thing in about ten seconds. I was giving death glares through my aviators at carnies who were lookin at my camo bag and saying, lord that's sexy. To Sarah, it was, I will Thunder Up with you any day. Hey, you toothless, 40 year old freak... GO AWAY. First off, bless your heart. Dental work is amazing. Trust me. Shit, even George Washington, had teeth, yeah, wooden ones. AT LEAST HE HAD SOMETHING THERE!! 

Even when they interview people here when tornadoes hit through. I face palm epically. This is how it goes:
News reporter: How grateful are you that you are alive? Even though your house is destroyed...
Person: Well, my brother/cousin/husband said to get in the shelter. We did, and we heard somethin that sounded like a freight train. It reminded me of the movie Twister, when people were hidin out. And the Aunt almost died and her house collapsed....

FIRST OFF, YOU SOUND FUCKING RETARDED. SECONDLY, YOU GIVE OKIES A HORRIBLE NAME. LASTLY, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. 

Walmart, All because it zips does NOT means it fits. Lingerie is not acceptable in public. If you have big boobs, please wear a bra in public. Leggings are for average sized people. Spandex is scary. The 80's are calling. If your thighs are the size of two raccoons wrestling in a bag of feed corn, NO. DO NOT WEAR THEM. 

I know everyone people watches! :)