My title is true. I feel like I am way too nice to people and get screwed in return. Whether it be with friends. Or trying to get in a relationship. I don't blow up your phone. I don't act like a crazed fan at a Twilight premiere. I will be fine if I don't talk to you for days or weeks. But, after a bit... my feelings start getting confused. The biggest thing I hear why no one would date me is because I have a son. I never say, hey!! will you step up and be a dad. Since my ex is not in the picture. I don't like it when my guy friends or chick friends offer to help. I get super stubborn and knowing he is my child. I should do all the work. I am me. If you like it. Awesome. If you don't. Too damn bad. I won't change for anyone. I put my son first. He is my absolutely number one thing in my life. Friends come and go. I have become more brutally honest since my divorce. All because I don't give a care to give on what you think. You don't like the truth? Get over it. Would you rather be lied to forever!? No. Some of my friends make me want to take some tylenol pm and relax. Haha.
Men. It really isn't that complex to figure me out. Most women need a damn manual. When I don't have my son. I like to cook, bake, cuddle, watch movies, be awesome together. And preferablly you have to like the Chive like I. I am a tad obsessed with that site. I like wine, whiskey, and brews. I love star wars, Disney, Will Farrell movies, and kissing. I am a huge kisser. I love conversations, and pretty much relaxing on the couch with you. I don't care about clubs at all. I go to the bar once in a blue moon. All I ask is remember certain dates. Even if it is a dang card on my birthday I would be stoked. Not that hard, is it? Preferably hate Valentine's Day as much as me. Oh! Please like video games!! And please know how to at least change a tire on your vehicle. :) I don't need to show you up!! ;)
Women. Stop being psychotic bitches. Please. You worry about them going to the bar. Not calling you every single night. GET OVER YOURSELVES. they have lives. You have lives. Don't be a damn hypocrite when it comes to shit. Most of you women I would push into he ocean during a jellyfish warning to get it through your heads. If you don't like it that they Ste having a guys night drinking beer and playing some Borderlands 2. Join in. At least he ain't cheating on you.
Now, I ask myself how can someone like I be single? How can someone as awesome as me be alone? easy. I wont settle. don't do drugs. Don't be an idiot. I want to settle down. If I get in a relationship. It hopefully will be long term. why get in one if it is just a short term one? No point. I have my eye on someone. And hopefully he is attracted to me... but I will let it fall into place. It's all up to our fate. Noe. While I go get ready for sleep. Enjoy my blog.
KCCO.
Kylie.
Xoxox
Friday, February 22, 2013
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Whatever you do... don't kill anyone.
Yeah, today I am going to write about pregnancy. I am far from it. I don't plan on having another until my ass is happy with someone and Gunner is a good age. Financially stable as well. As I write this. Do not drink anything. (it'll spray across your screen.) Do not piss your pants. (I don't need that, actually... go ahead.) MORE HUMOR FOR ME :)
No one gave me a damn manual when it came to looking like a beached beluga whale with the world's biggest blessing growing inside of my belly! :) Now, I gave birth in July. It was 115 the day before I popped. I would walk around Bricktown with Gunner's sperm donor, bouncing, in labor every single day for two weeks! I even bed rid myself for two days. I couldn't take it anymore! I wanted to meet my little man. I was in labor for 4.5 hours. Jackson women are made for having kids. Not the 10 pant sizes I gained in my hips. Oh baby bearing hips. More like a cruise ship would sink if they hit my thighs!! I didn't even want them telling me how much I gained anymore. I would step on and cover my ears. I didn't start really showing until 7 1/2 months but still. That awkward are you pregnant or just a fat kid who loves food so much stage was not pleasant.
The day we found out isn't how everyone else finds out or wants to. Sitting there anxiously or worried looking at a stick covered in your urine. No. It was Kylie, you blacked out, stopped breathing, and I rushed you to the ER, because you fainted twice. Oh. I had a cyst the size of Mt. Rushmore burst on my left ovary. My body couldn't handle the pain. So, there I went... They took urine specimens and blood, Came in all nonchalantly and said, Ms. Jackson you are pregnant. I gave her the look of WHAT THE HELL?! And glared down Douchenugget. I was happy, nervous, scared, nauseated, excited, angry, and shocked. The RN had the audacity to ask me, Would you like an abortion? We can perform one here. I WANT TO KEEP MY CHILD. You sure? Yes, I am sure. What the hell kind of question is that? It is Hawaii after all... Matt went out and smoked about a pack of cigarettes why I sit there staring into oblivion wondering when and where. Then My OBGYN. Dr. Shimomura (coolest dude on island!) Took me up to ultrasound to make sure I didn't have an ectopic pregnancy. Told me how far along I was, and the date I got pregnant. I literally looked at Matt, jaw open and said, I know what day that was. I drank enough to make my birth control not work. I don't remember getting home from the bar hopping. Our roommate TJ told me I was stupid to keep a baby and think of adoption or abortion. I was too young. Yes, 20 is young. I was ready. I made the decision to keep the biggest blessing in my life. I look at him now as he is laying on his Lightning McQueen couch/bed thing. I wouldn't change him for the world. The terrible two stage is driving me nuts sometimes. But, I love him to death. I don't regret any decision with Gunner. He has made me a better human being. I grew up and know he is my number one priority.
Now, you go home beaming with happiness and call everyone. I called my mom, there was silence on the phone. I awkwardly said, I'm sorry? I don't know what to say... 2 weeks later... she was stoked! Now, not everyone was excited. Some people wanted us to come drinking and partying. I would decline and go to sleep.
No one tells you that you are narcoleptic as shit, hungry like a 15 year old boy hitting puberty, and your nose will bleed randomly and uncontrollably. I ate enough food to make the sailors in the household wonder where I stored it. My boobs, my thighs, and obviously my child.
You read the book "What To Expect When You're Expecting" and wonder who the fuck came up with some of this?! How in God's name was blowing air into your vagina from getting oral can kill your child. or How a turkey sandwich from Panera Bread might make you sick and harm your baby. Guess what? I ate Panera Bread. Don't care. I was pregnant. I will do what I want. No sushi or some catfish. I am not that stupid. I swear that book put me on edge. I would measure out 8 oz of oj and drink only that 8 oz a day. I stopped drinking Mt. Dew and Dr. Pepper. No coffee, which seemed to kill me. I was tired ALL THE TIME! I still am. haha.
Some people vomit at the smell or site of something. Oatmeal. Yup, oatmeal, looked like Oliver Twist's meal every single day. Yuck I still have issues wanting to eat it. Broccoli. Eff you. I will not even say the word. Green tree of death is more like it. I never once was visiting the Porcelain God though. Just felt queezy. :)
Now you can either look adorable or like a 75 year old woman when pregnant. Mom jeans. that are 60 bucks a pop for pregnancy. and some lame ass shirts from motherhood. Forever 21 baby!! haha. I fit in my clothes until 5 months. I used the rubberband around my button so I wouldn't have to look like a fool. Oh but I did. I looked like a member from Teen Mom. I looked like a wee little lass knocked up. With what looked like a small alien at 10 weeks. Cute little one at that!! Then You don't buy comfortable bras because your boobs are growing to the size of Mother Russia. Sore, itchy, killing your back! No one tells you that you will love and hate your boobs at the same time.
I was an emotional roller coaster. I cried about rain in Hawaii. Ruined my plans for the beach! I was so mad. I cried. Who cries over rain?! Really?! It rained EVERY SINGLE DAY THERE! I cried during certain songs. Other kids tripping over themselves. Youtube videos of this and that. Love stories... Yes, love stories.
When you are reading some of this book to the baby daddy and you wonder if his penis decided to tuck into his stomach and not come out because of what your va jay jay will look like after birth, or something so beautiful being pushed out a hole the size of a marble.
Birthing Videos.... Oh good god! Hi, no. just no. NEXT!
Laughing so hard you piddle your pants. Yes, My father told me about his first job ever in Cali when he was 16 at a KFC, and I died so hard... I went, Oops. Ran to the bathroom as I am trickling myself. and barely made it to the toilet. I did a couple times. And you don't stop laughing either. Everyone has stopped and you are sitting there snorting like a hog laughing your ass off at something that ended years ago, in a movie scene flashback, jokes, youtube videos, the works!!
Feeling your child move for the first time is not as cute as you think. You are freaked out, WHAT JUST HAPPENED!? Then you realize you felt a butterfly flutter inside and it was your bundle of happiness moving! MOVING?! Yes. moving. And you become enlightened and glowing and telling everyone in the household what just happened.
The rest is pretty much simple, miserable and huge, Ready to push a watermelon out of your va jay jay as you get your 12" needle down your back and a happy button for drugs so you don't feel your child coming out of said hole while you are shaking like you are about to have a seizure because your body is about to go through a huge change and NO ONE TOLD ME THAT!! Then your doctor is cutting you open and going to stitch you back up with a hooked needle. Holding your loved one's hands and pushing, praying you don't poop on the doc's face or on any of the nurses. Oh! and your water breaking is the best feeling of relief ever. Until about a minute later...
You hear that first cry and you start bawling! Happy tears! I was so happy and speechless. I didn't even know what to say. I just said, Hello, Gunner. and held his adorable little hand while his fingers wrapped around my index finger. Passing him back off to the nurses who are bathing him and the sloo of family members that come in there and you don't know if you are still urinating everywhere while the epidural is wearing off. All you want to do is hold your child and everyone is still holding them while everyone is encouraging you to eat and you don't wanna vomit everywhere all over because food is just a NO.
Your RN comes in and baby daddy takes the baby so you can get up and go to the bathroom and attempt this gangster limp thing you have going on because you are swollen, look like your nose is broken, and just dropped 25 pounds... lol. You then sit on the pot with you RN there staring at you making sure you are emptying your bladder and douching yourself with warm water bottle into your stitches and doing this for the next 7 days.
I love my child and everything. I LOVED being pregnant. The summer heat here in OK didn't want me to be the last month of it. I didn't enjoy the random people coming up and touching my belly. No. NEVER EVER DO THAT. EVER.
No one gave me a damn manual when it came to looking like a beached beluga whale with the world's biggest blessing growing inside of my belly! :) Now, I gave birth in July. It was 115 the day before I popped. I would walk around Bricktown with Gunner's sperm donor, bouncing, in labor every single day for two weeks! I even bed rid myself for two days. I couldn't take it anymore! I wanted to meet my little man. I was in labor for 4.5 hours. Jackson women are made for having kids. Not the 10 pant sizes I gained in my hips. Oh baby bearing hips. More like a cruise ship would sink if they hit my thighs!! I didn't even want them telling me how much I gained anymore. I would step on and cover my ears. I didn't start really showing until 7 1/2 months but still. That awkward are you pregnant or just a fat kid who loves food so much stage was not pleasant.
The day we found out isn't how everyone else finds out or wants to. Sitting there anxiously or worried looking at a stick covered in your urine. No. It was Kylie, you blacked out, stopped breathing, and I rushed you to the ER, because you fainted twice. Oh. I had a cyst the size of Mt. Rushmore burst on my left ovary. My body couldn't handle the pain. So, there I went... They took urine specimens and blood, Came in all nonchalantly and said, Ms. Jackson you are pregnant. I gave her the look of WHAT THE HELL?! And glared down Douchenugget. I was happy, nervous, scared, nauseated, excited, angry, and shocked. The RN had the audacity to ask me, Would you like an abortion? We can perform one here. I WANT TO KEEP MY CHILD. You sure? Yes, I am sure. What the hell kind of question is that? It is Hawaii after all... Matt went out and smoked about a pack of cigarettes why I sit there staring into oblivion wondering when and where. Then My OBGYN. Dr. Shimomura (coolest dude on island!) Took me up to ultrasound to make sure I didn't have an ectopic pregnancy. Told me how far along I was, and the date I got pregnant. I literally looked at Matt, jaw open and said, I know what day that was. I drank enough to make my birth control not work. I don't remember getting home from the bar hopping. Our roommate TJ told me I was stupid to keep a baby and think of adoption or abortion. I was too young. Yes, 20 is young. I was ready. I made the decision to keep the biggest blessing in my life. I look at him now as he is laying on his Lightning McQueen couch/bed thing. I wouldn't change him for the world. The terrible two stage is driving me nuts sometimes. But, I love him to death. I don't regret any decision with Gunner. He has made me a better human being. I grew up and know he is my number one priority.
Now, you go home beaming with happiness and call everyone. I called my mom, there was silence on the phone. I awkwardly said, I'm sorry? I don't know what to say... 2 weeks later... she was stoked! Now, not everyone was excited. Some people wanted us to come drinking and partying. I would decline and go to sleep.
No one tells you that you are narcoleptic as shit, hungry like a 15 year old boy hitting puberty, and your nose will bleed randomly and uncontrollably. I ate enough food to make the sailors in the household wonder where I stored it. My boobs, my thighs, and obviously my child.
You read the book "What To Expect When You're Expecting" and wonder who the fuck came up with some of this?! How in God's name was blowing air into your vagina from getting oral can kill your child. or How a turkey sandwich from Panera Bread might make you sick and harm your baby. Guess what? I ate Panera Bread. Don't care. I was pregnant. I will do what I want. No sushi or some catfish. I am not that stupid. I swear that book put me on edge. I would measure out 8 oz of oj and drink only that 8 oz a day. I stopped drinking Mt. Dew and Dr. Pepper. No coffee, which seemed to kill me. I was tired ALL THE TIME! I still am. haha.
Some people vomit at the smell or site of something. Oatmeal. Yup, oatmeal, looked like Oliver Twist's meal every single day. Yuck I still have issues wanting to eat it. Broccoli. Eff you. I will not even say the word. Green tree of death is more like it. I never once was visiting the Porcelain God though. Just felt queezy. :)
Now you can either look adorable or like a 75 year old woman when pregnant. Mom jeans. that are 60 bucks a pop for pregnancy. and some lame ass shirts from motherhood. Forever 21 baby!! haha. I fit in my clothes until 5 months. I used the rubberband around my button so I wouldn't have to look like a fool. Oh but I did. I looked like a member from Teen Mom. I looked like a wee little lass knocked up. With what looked like a small alien at 10 weeks. Cute little one at that!! Then You don't buy comfortable bras because your boobs are growing to the size of Mother Russia. Sore, itchy, killing your back! No one tells you that you will love and hate your boobs at the same time.
I was an emotional roller coaster. I cried about rain in Hawaii. Ruined my plans for the beach! I was so mad. I cried. Who cries over rain?! Really?! It rained EVERY SINGLE DAY THERE! I cried during certain songs. Other kids tripping over themselves. Youtube videos of this and that. Love stories... Yes, love stories.
When you are reading some of this book to the baby daddy and you wonder if his penis decided to tuck into his stomach and not come out because of what your va jay jay will look like after birth, or something so beautiful being pushed out a hole the size of a marble.
Birthing Videos.... Oh good god! Hi, no. just no. NEXT!
Laughing so hard you piddle your pants. Yes, My father told me about his first job ever in Cali when he was 16 at a KFC, and I died so hard... I went, Oops. Ran to the bathroom as I am trickling myself. and barely made it to the toilet. I did a couple times. And you don't stop laughing either. Everyone has stopped and you are sitting there snorting like a hog laughing your ass off at something that ended years ago, in a movie scene flashback, jokes, youtube videos, the works!!
Feeling your child move for the first time is not as cute as you think. You are freaked out, WHAT JUST HAPPENED!? Then you realize you felt a butterfly flutter inside and it was your bundle of happiness moving! MOVING?! Yes. moving. And you become enlightened and glowing and telling everyone in the household what just happened.
The rest is pretty much simple, miserable and huge, Ready to push a watermelon out of your va jay jay as you get your 12" needle down your back and a happy button for drugs so you don't feel your child coming out of said hole while you are shaking like you are about to have a seizure because your body is about to go through a huge change and NO ONE TOLD ME THAT!! Then your doctor is cutting you open and going to stitch you back up with a hooked needle. Holding your loved one's hands and pushing, praying you don't poop on the doc's face or on any of the nurses. Oh! and your water breaking is the best feeling of relief ever. Until about a minute later...
You hear that first cry and you start bawling! Happy tears! I was so happy and speechless. I didn't even know what to say. I just said, Hello, Gunner. and held his adorable little hand while his fingers wrapped around my index finger. Passing him back off to the nurses who are bathing him and the sloo of family members that come in there and you don't know if you are still urinating everywhere while the epidural is wearing off. All you want to do is hold your child and everyone is still holding them while everyone is encouraging you to eat and you don't wanna vomit everywhere all over because food is just a NO.
Your RN comes in and baby daddy takes the baby so you can get up and go to the bathroom and attempt this gangster limp thing you have going on because you are swollen, look like your nose is broken, and just dropped 25 pounds... lol. You then sit on the pot with you RN there staring at you making sure you are emptying your bladder and douching yourself with warm water bottle into your stitches and doing this for the next 7 days.
I love my child and everything. I LOVED being pregnant. The summer heat here in OK didn't want me to be the last month of it. I didn't enjoy the random people coming up and touching my belly. No. NEVER EVER DO THAT. EVER.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Good things come to those who wait..
Alrighty then... haha watched some Ace Ventura this weekend. Do not pass go. Do not collect your 200 dollars. lord...
As I was driving back from Lee's Summit this weekend. I had my ipod on shuffle. Realized what the hell happened to Missy Elliot? Oh my! Hanson! MMMMBOP! I had to step off the country for a bit, since according to the guy I like, I should. Country burns his ears. So, listening to The Used. They need to come out with some new stuff. Mumford and Sons, they are amazing. They performed at the Grammy's and even won Album of the Year!! September 6-7 I will be in Guthrie jammin out. Trust me. I will. You beautiful British people. Now, The Black Keys, The Lumineers also stole my heart. They already did before, But last night was awesome! Smashmouth.. Yeah Smashmouth. What happened to you? I was loving some 90s. I did get some looks on the way home as I was singing like a freak. I should have got a grammy. Best karaoke session ever! 90s and 80s music! The Smithereens in there went to the 70s even with some MJ. Midtown. The Starting Line. My goodness, Linkin Park. Weezer, I remembered certain nights with some people back in the day. Listening to this stuff. Lit. Music these days... turning into CRAP. Nicki Minaj, Frank Ocean?! What the HELL was that? It was some weird words. Words? I sat there with my jaw hanging off pretty much. Get off your Autotune... And Nicki... You giving music advice on idol is like Taylor Swift giving relationship advice. I wouldn't take it from either of ya'll... Swift is the problem in her relationships. haha. She should get with my ex husband. I think they are both fucked in the head. haha. We need some more people like Freddie Mercury. He was an absolute God with music and the words that flowed out of his angelic voice was magical. Queen was by far one of the best bands ever to walk this Earth. Old Crow Medicine Show, George Strait, ACDC, Metallica, Pantera, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Alabama, good bands. Lil Wayne needs a reality check. Most rappers do. I have it on my ipod due to my sister listening to it. What the hell is Justin Bieber? Music then was written by themselves or help with one writer and produced by one person. Not 7 people, not 9 producers. Real music.
Now, to a new subject.... This past year has been absolute shit for Gunner and I as some of you know. Caught my husband cheating still. He said he "regretted having a baby. He wasn't ready like he thought." Left him. 1/2 our shit is still in Charleston. He sold some of it. Without my permission. I get a call saying he has gone missing from housing he was supposed to be there and he still hasn't shown up for three days. Why is my name still on stuff with him on that house?! Personally, I wouldn't care if the man caught AIDS and died the day before they found a cure. He is so rude, and emotionally abusive. Calls our son a that. Doesn't pay up. I want my shit back. Mainly all of Gunner's stuff, and my 5 pair of cowboy boots! Also, all of my grandma's belongings she left us before she passed. I refuse to go alone or I would kick his ass. I plan on making 2013 the best for us! Now, I want a second job, and preferably a job where I can sleep decently. Not 3 days of 6 hours of sleep. And absolute zero energy drinks out my ass. I had by far one of the best weekends in a long time. My cheeks still hurt from the constant smiling. Waking up smiling! That shit right there people doesn't happen. Smiling is like a rare thing. Since 99.9% of the time in my marriage I was bawling my eyes out like a dumbass. So, as Phil Robertson says. That makes me happy, happy, happy!
I believe my son was so spoiled rotten this last weekend, he is throwing temper tantrums to Tatoonie and back. But now, he is laying on his little couch thing, drinking his sippy watching Gabba! Tomorrow I blog about pregnancy. Ya'll better wear a diaper. You will be laughing :)
As I was driving back from Lee's Summit this weekend. I had my ipod on shuffle. Realized what the hell happened to Missy Elliot? Oh my! Hanson! MMMMBOP! I had to step off the country for a bit, since according to the guy I like, I should. Country burns his ears. So, listening to The Used. They need to come out with some new stuff. Mumford and Sons, they are amazing. They performed at the Grammy's and even won Album of the Year!! September 6-7 I will be in Guthrie jammin out. Trust me. I will. You beautiful British people. Now, The Black Keys, The Lumineers also stole my heart. They already did before, But last night was awesome! Smashmouth.. Yeah Smashmouth. What happened to you? I was loving some 90s. I did get some looks on the way home as I was singing like a freak. I should have got a grammy. Best karaoke session ever! 90s and 80s music! The Smithereens in there went to the 70s even with some MJ. Midtown. The Starting Line. My goodness, Linkin Park. Weezer, I remembered certain nights with some people back in the day. Listening to this stuff. Lit. Music these days... turning into CRAP. Nicki Minaj, Frank Ocean?! What the HELL was that? It was some weird words. Words? I sat there with my jaw hanging off pretty much. Get off your Autotune... And Nicki... You giving music advice on idol is like Taylor Swift giving relationship advice. I wouldn't take it from either of ya'll... Swift is the problem in her relationships. haha. She should get with my ex husband. I think they are both fucked in the head. haha. We need some more people like Freddie Mercury. He was an absolute God with music and the words that flowed out of his angelic voice was magical. Queen was by far one of the best bands ever to walk this Earth. Old Crow Medicine Show, George Strait, ACDC, Metallica, Pantera, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Alabama, good bands. Lil Wayne needs a reality check. Most rappers do. I have it on my ipod due to my sister listening to it. What the hell is Justin Bieber? Music then was written by themselves or help with one writer and produced by one person. Not 7 people, not 9 producers. Real music.
Now, to a new subject.... This past year has been absolute shit for Gunner and I as some of you know. Caught my husband cheating still. He said he "regretted having a baby. He wasn't ready like he thought." Left him. 1/2 our shit is still in Charleston. He sold some of it. Without my permission. I get a call saying he has gone missing from housing he was supposed to be there and he still hasn't shown up for three days. Why is my name still on stuff with him on that house?! Personally, I wouldn't care if the man caught AIDS and died the day before they found a cure. He is so rude, and emotionally abusive. Calls our son a that. Doesn't pay up. I want my shit back. Mainly all of Gunner's stuff, and my 5 pair of cowboy boots! Also, all of my grandma's belongings she left us before she passed. I refuse to go alone or I would kick his ass. I plan on making 2013 the best for us! Now, I want a second job, and preferably a job where I can sleep decently. Not 3 days of 6 hours of sleep. And absolute zero energy drinks out my ass. I had by far one of the best weekends in a long time. My cheeks still hurt from the constant smiling. Waking up smiling! That shit right there people doesn't happen. Smiling is like a rare thing. Since 99.9% of the time in my marriage I was bawling my eyes out like a dumbass. So, as Phil Robertson says. That makes me happy, happy, happy!
I believe my son was so spoiled rotten this last weekend, he is throwing temper tantrums to Tatoonie and back. But now, he is laying on his little couch thing, drinking his sippy watching Gabba! Tomorrow I blog about pregnancy. Ya'll better wear a diaper. You will be laughing :)
Monday, January 28, 2013
You're dumber than girls who cut themselves for Bieber.
Hey ya'll. First off, some people.... are dumber than a sack of rocks. Peter Griffin's pet rock has more brains than most teenagers in America these days. So, you cut yourself for Justin Bieber... You suck a tampon for fame. First and foremost. WTF? Who in Lord's name sucks their own tampon?! Hellllll no. Your parents must have done a shit ton of acid when they were pregnant with you. Or well, you must have to do that. Not even people on Jackass would slump that low. I would rather eat a cockroach. I bet your family is just so incredibly proud of you. No. I would put you in a psychiatric hospital. Have you evaluated. Given a lobotomy while singing the Ramones into you. You don't deserve to walk among humans. Maybe an island of apes. They would probably wonder what the hell is wrong with you.
Secondly. The cutters for JB. WHAT THE HELL. He smoked a joint. I don't do drugs. I never will. I don't get the point of it. But, weed. Glad you aren't hardcore Snoop Dog fans. Be glad it wasn't meth or heroine. Would you have cut a little deeper? Done us a favor? Only in AMERICA. Do we have some idiotic people. I think that's why my ex husband isn't all there. All the drugs he did before the military. Drugs make you stupid. I was just oblivious. I blame the blonde hair and pregnancy hormones. haha. Please make fun of me all you want. I know, I know he was a total mistake...
I never hear of other countries having extremely idiotic teenagers attempting immature acts of WHAT THE FUCKERY.
Ah, today at the zoo... WHO dresses up to go to the zoo?! heels and such. Ya gunna mate with a giraffe? Take him out to a nice tree and eat some leaves? He will enjoy that so... -_-
Walmart... that's a people watching nightmare. It's a train wreck you cannot look away from. It isn't the 70s! WEAR A BRA!! The ONLY time you shouldn't wear a bra is when you are swimming, screwing, showering, or in the house by yourself letting your twins breathe. There should also be a weight limit into certain size clothes. I do not want to see your belly, your hairy ass, If it looks like three raccoons wrestling in a bag of feed corn. NO. All because it zips does not mean it fits. Camel toe x9000 Ughh. If you are wearing any type of lingerie. Go to MLK Blvd. and work it there. I don't wanna see your pre sex attire. I do not want to see your back titty side boob comin out of your cut shirt. I feel like I should be in the movie Deliverance. A Shower would be lovely too! That goes to most employees working there. And some of the creatures you come across. Unless you live with the TMNT's there is NO need to smell like an open sewer. Did your parents tell you it is okay to shower once every full moon? I hope not.
I should write a book... SERIOUSLY.
END RANT.
xoxoxo
Kylie
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Some People Should NEVER Breed.
Hey Ya'll...
Last week some "girl" (who must be the world's best mother) told me I was a horrible person for disciplining my child. Yes, I say, "No, no. Don't do that. Want to go to time out?" Oh, but yes, when my child is about to break something, or life threatening, I will smack the hand away or spank him. Not where it leaves a mark. But, this child like creature of a woman. Told me when is material possessions more important than your child? I NEVER said that my parent's very expensive TV that my child threw a golf putter into it, yes, my son will get a time out and a spanking. If that broke and shattered into him or fell on him. I would have died inside. I'm sorry you get your parenting advice off of google and Wiki. What the hell is that going to accomplish. I think the ONLY natural mom I can tolerate is my friend Sarah R. Why, you must ask? She doesn't freaking push it down everyone's throat. She doesn't look down on the way other's parent. She doesn't say. Educate before you Vaccinate. She respects other's decisions. I vaccinate. I don't care if you do or don't. But, if you don't, DO NOT push it down other's throats. Have people who get induced, have epidurals, have fake boobs (i don't), or anything like that. Keep your G. Dammed opinions to your damn self. I swear if this mom, named Heather, who was making everyone feel like freaking Satan. hahah. I am a GREAT parent. :) My son loves me, clings to me, is constantly by my side. HELL, I don't know when the last time I could pee in silence without him opening the door and staring into my soul while I take a piddle. haha. I love my little Top Gun. I couldn't help but LAUGH uncontrollably at this woman. I'm sorry. But, you should probably get your priorities straightened out in life. Stop, trying to tell others what to do on FB. You are probably going to get nowhere by doing such a thing. Oh, she also told me to get some more brain cells and learn my information. Ah, well, come to my hospital, I'll tell you a crap ton while you sit there and stare into the dark abyss, wondering what the hell I am talking about. I actually have quite a few. You want an extremely adult conversation? I can literally have a very mature and lovely one. I will go all 35 on you. haha. I'd rather just speak like I'm 22 for the time being.
I don't get why though that some people think they KNOW EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT BEING A MOTHER. I think my 18 months of experience have over your 3 weeks. haha. I know damn well, I am not God when it comes to parenting. I am still learning, taking advice from everyone. I take advice from Dr. Albiek, my mom, and some of my friends with kids that have been doing this for years. Some strangers too. Why not? Not, stupid, immature, snot nosed humans though. For I should praise them and throw flowers for them just existing! :)
I truthfully dislike people for shoving down religion, politics, or parenting down my throat. I am the type of person who would tell a Jehovah Witness that I am an Atheist. (I'm a Christian.) Just so they will stop stalking the house, and wait like 5 minutes outside of the door. I take Gunner and hide. haha. I don't care about who is right or wrong in your mind. My mind is the only one that matters. It's a messed up, scary, crazy, loving mind though :)
I think that mother needed some whiskey, love, and to go use a vibrator or something just to make her shut up. She would have been so much nicer I believe. hahaha! I have a feeling I will be getting hell for this. I really do not care. Just think, you started something that was way out of context. I said, I was spanked as a child and I turned out AWESOME. They were too, as they said, and they think it is psychologically degrading to a child's well being and emotional state. It isn't supposed to make them happy. It is out of love and care. You love them so much, you discipline them so they know right or wrong. I will NEVER lay a hand as a slap, or a fist into my child. Shouldn't we be worrying more about those that do? How about the drug and alcohol addicts that don't even care that they have a child. How about dead beat mom's and dad's? Like my ex husband, who doesn't send one dime, only checks in on his son once every 1-4 months. Those we need to give lessons to. Not people who don't want snot nosed brats for children.
End Rant.
Last week some "girl" (who must be the world's best mother) told me I was a horrible person for disciplining my child. Yes, I say, "No, no. Don't do that. Want to go to time out?" Oh, but yes, when my child is about to break something, or life threatening, I will smack the hand away or spank him. Not where it leaves a mark. But, this child like creature of a woman. Told me when is material possessions more important than your child? I NEVER said that my parent's very expensive TV that my child threw a golf putter into it, yes, my son will get a time out and a spanking. If that broke and shattered into him or fell on him. I would have died inside. I'm sorry you get your parenting advice off of google and Wiki. What the hell is that going to accomplish. I think the ONLY natural mom I can tolerate is my friend Sarah R. Why, you must ask? She doesn't freaking push it down everyone's throat. She doesn't look down on the way other's parent. She doesn't say. Educate before you Vaccinate. She respects other's decisions. I vaccinate. I don't care if you do or don't. But, if you don't, DO NOT push it down other's throats. Have people who get induced, have epidurals, have fake boobs (i don't), or anything like that. Keep your G. Dammed opinions to your damn self. I swear if this mom, named Heather, who was making everyone feel like freaking Satan. hahah. I am a GREAT parent. :) My son loves me, clings to me, is constantly by my side. HELL, I don't know when the last time I could pee in silence without him opening the door and staring into my soul while I take a piddle. haha. I love my little Top Gun. I couldn't help but LAUGH uncontrollably at this woman. I'm sorry. But, you should probably get your priorities straightened out in life. Stop, trying to tell others what to do on FB. You are probably going to get nowhere by doing such a thing. Oh, she also told me to get some more brain cells and learn my information. Ah, well, come to my hospital, I'll tell you a crap ton while you sit there and stare into the dark abyss, wondering what the hell I am talking about. I actually have quite a few. You want an extremely adult conversation? I can literally have a very mature and lovely one. I will go all 35 on you. haha. I'd rather just speak like I'm 22 for the time being.
I don't get why though that some people think they KNOW EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT BEING A MOTHER. I think my 18 months of experience have over your 3 weeks. haha. I know damn well, I am not God when it comes to parenting. I am still learning, taking advice from everyone. I take advice from Dr. Albiek, my mom, and some of my friends with kids that have been doing this for years. Some strangers too. Why not? Not, stupid, immature, snot nosed humans though. For I should praise them and throw flowers for them just existing! :)
I truthfully dislike people for shoving down religion, politics, or parenting down my throat. I am the type of person who would tell a Jehovah Witness that I am an Atheist. (I'm a Christian.) Just so they will stop stalking the house, and wait like 5 minutes outside of the door. I take Gunner and hide. haha. I don't care about who is right or wrong in your mind. My mind is the only one that matters. It's a messed up, scary, crazy, loving mind though :)
I think that mother needed some whiskey, love, and to go use a vibrator or something just to make her shut up. She would have been so much nicer I believe. hahaha! I have a feeling I will be getting hell for this. I really do not care. Just think, you started something that was way out of context. I said, I was spanked as a child and I turned out AWESOME. They were too, as they said, and they think it is psychologically degrading to a child's well being and emotional state. It isn't supposed to make them happy. It is out of love and care. You love them so much, you discipline them so they know right or wrong. I will NEVER lay a hand as a slap, or a fist into my child. Shouldn't we be worrying more about those that do? How about the drug and alcohol addicts that don't even care that they have a child. How about dead beat mom's and dad's? Like my ex husband, who doesn't send one dime, only checks in on his son once every 1-4 months. Those we need to give lessons to. Not people who don't want snot nosed brats for children.
End Rant.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Thanks for making me the way I am. Assholes.
Alrighty then. Momma is gunna write about allllll the relationships I have been in. And how much they sucked at life. But hey, if it wasn't for them. I wouldn't be this incredibly awesome. Let's start with my first real relationship. Guess what! You don't like your names in here. Grow a pair.
Koger. Yes. This man. On and off forever. This man thought he was being an absolute badass in front of his friends. He would tell me, just walking in the door, to go run out on hefner parkway and get hit by a semi. 15 minutes later, he was kissin my ass. He was screwing women left and right. But each time I was sad, or went through a breakup, needed help with stupid people. This man, was there. He never wanted to meet my parents. Because, his friends told him not to. He was 4 1/2 years older than I. When I was in Hawaii gettin cheated on. He would listen. Hahaha. Some of his past girlfriends, he would call me and ask WTF? yeah. I, amongst some of your friends think the same thing. He is the main reason I don't tolerate much bullshit. He was the first man I loved.
Tyler- oh good lord almighty. So, I met this guy, I thought he was gay when I first met him. Yes. Still dated him. While I would go on vacation. He would have another girl when I got back. Or, tell people I stalked him. How? School, and work. And you lived 30 minutes away. I don't have time for that. He realized he was a douche nugget when he confessed to cheating. And bawled his eyes out. He is the only person I have slapped across the face.
Blake. Lasted one year. Lied to me. Went down hill. He was younger. Left me for some ghetto fab black chick. Haha. Then was good friends with my sister. NO. It was a bit awkward being his baseball manager sometimes. haha.
Trent- lasted a month. I dodged his hit!! He left a dent in the fender of his truck! I paid for our DINNER. He threw a temper tantrum. And tried to hit me. Later that week. He shook me like a damn tag doll. Whiplash anyone? He was effing INSANE!!
Joel. Oh god. Every single friend in Hawaii still gives me shit. 3 inches shorter. Looks like a douche. Too serious of a marine. Cannot let lose. But dumber than rocks. Cheated on me with a Russain chick. And we broke up! But, I have some of the best friends I can ask for because of this tool bag of stupid. I met my ex husband two weeks later. Well, I was set up with him. Ugh. Both are Stupid.
Matt- the man I married. Good Jesus. He fooled me. My family. His friends, everyone. Couldn't handle a kid. Had multiple affairs. Couldn't wait for our son and I to leave. Michelle. Margaret. Some chick Josh knew. Doesn't pay child support. Drinks all the time. Strippers, petty things, and booze came before us. Wtf. Yeah, wtf. I had to beg him to spend ten minutes with our son. I would ask if he could watch gunner while I go to the store. Nope. He couldn't do it. He hated it when Gunner would cry. He would get furious. Dude. You're in the navy. Grow up. He would get pissed that I went through his email looking for something from our relator and then I found out some emails, 6 months later, I found even more!! Why did he lie to me for so long? Should have been straight up. He told me, and I quote, "I chose you though". I didn't know you even had a choice! We had VOWS!! You broke them like an OBGYN breaks water. ALL THE DAMN TIME. I regret marrying him when I did. I wanted to wait after his deployment. I wanted to see how he was with our son. Then I wouldn't be in this situation. I mean come on. HOW HARD WAS IT TO SPEND 10 MINUTES WITH YOUR SON WHEN YOU GOT HOME FROM WORK?! IT IS CALLED BONDING TIME. YOU MADE THIS BABY, BE A DAD, NOT A SPERM DONOR. AND PAY YOUR DANG CHILD SUPPORT!! Ugh. I literally could write a novel on this jackass. Every single time I even think about him, I think he is the anti-christ. I get angry. I would love to shove my square toed boot straight up his anus, and hope when I remove thus boot, he shits his pants every single time he walks. I guess, being whipped by this man, and pretty much doing everything he told me to do, going where he sent me, I was in a knew state every 6 weeks with our son. I finally realized back in July how shitty of a husband he was. I would have a beer ready for him when he walked in the door. I would be cooking dinner or have it ready. I would rub his feet after standing watch. I would rub his back, hands, and neck. I would have snacks ready for him while he was playing ps3, and I was tending to our son. Then when Gunner would go to bed, I would be able to finally play, if he didn't cry. Which I would have to shake Matt up on his days off to help with the baby. I got to sleep in once! He would help with Gunner maybe 6 times all together. 20 days of leave and he held gunner asleep while I was getting diapers, bottles, stumbling in the middle of the night. Then shove a pillow over his head. Let's quote more emails. I am not happy with her or the baby. I regret getting her pregnant sometimes. GO FUCK YOURSELF. GUNNER IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME. SHIT, YOU WERE GLOWING AND CRYING LIKE I WAS THE DAY HE WAS BORN. THOUGHT YOU WERE READY, 6 WEEKS LATER YOU STARTED CHEATING. IGNORING ME FOR DAYS ON END. I had SURGERY. I had my GALLBLADDER taken out, where was an I love you, phone call or text? Oh, none. But you could skype Michelle and tell her how you two were going to get a house in SC and you were about to fly her out, when we weren't there. WHAT THE HELL. DUDE. YOU ARE 27. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. I literally hate this man. HATE. I wish he would just be a dad.
Now, I spoil men. Treat them well. I would spoil em at Christmas. Birthdays. Randomly. Cook dinner for their families. Or them. Bake constantly. Do whatever. Massage their backs and feet after a long day at duty. I'm actually really nice. I just think some of my exes are stupid. Or just shouldn't breathe and reproduce. I try my damnedest to make people happy. Will do anything for them. Yet, I get fucked over. Always. Just remember dates of importance. It shouldn't be that hard. Lol I think some men truthfully don't know what to do when women treat them so well. They freak out. And want to be treated like assholes. So, after every breakup like every woman does, we put them on blast. and call them DUMB ASSES. Most of them will never grow up. They won't settle down. They won't find any girl that treats em good, because they will stick it in anything that moves.
I do NOT get the point of cheating. If you want to cheat, leave. Plain and simple. I have never once cheated on someone. I don't get why people do. I stayed true to my vows the 18 months Matthew and I spent apart. He couldn't. Some of his so called "friends" knew he was cheating. Thanks for the 411 guys!! I am so much happier being away from him. Being free. Having a stable and loving family for Gunner. I think, I have learned so much from every relationship. You cannot trust anyone right away. ;)
What are some shitty relationships YOU'VE been in?!
Koger. Yes. This man. On and off forever. This man thought he was being an absolute badass in front of his friends. He would tell me, just walking in the door, to go run out on hefner parkway and get hit by a semi. 15 minutes later, he was kissin my ass. He was screwing women left and right. But each time I was sad, or went through a breakup, needed help with stupid people. This man, was there. He never wanted to meet my parents. Because, his friends told him not to. He was 4 1/2 years older than I. When I was in Hawaii gettin cheated on. He would listen. Hahaha. Some of his past girlfriends, he would call me and ask WTF? yeah. I, amongst some of your friends think the same thing. He is the main reason I don't tolerate much bullshit. He was the first man I loved.
Tyler- oh good lord almighty. So, I met this guy, I thought he was gay when I first met him. Yes. Still dated him. While I would go on vacation. He would have another girl when I got back. Or, tell people I stalked him. How? School, and work. And you lived 30 minutes away. I don't have time for that. He realized he was a douche nugget when he confessed to cheating. And bawled his eyes out. He is the only person I have slapped across the face.
Blake. Lasted one year. Lied to me. Went down hill. He was younger. Left me for some ghetto fab black chick. Haha. Then was good friends with my sister. NO. It was a bit awkward being his baseball manager sometimes. haha.
Trent- lasted a month. I dodged his hit!! He left a dent in the fender of his truck! I paid for our DINNER. He threw a temper tantrum. And tried to hit me. Later that week. He shook me like a damn tag doll. Whiplash anyone? He was effing INSANE!!
Joel. Oh god. Every single friend in Hawaii still gives me shit. 3 inches shorter. Looks like a douche. Too serious of a marine. Cannot let lose. But dumber than rocks. Cheated on me with a Russain chick. And we broke up! But, I have some of the best friends I can ask for because of this tool bag of stupid. I met my ex husband two weeks later. Well, I was set up with him. Ugh. Both are Stupid.
Matt- the man I married. Good Jesus. He fooled me. My family. His friends, everyone. Couldn't handle a kid. Had multiple affairs. Couldn't wait for our son and I to leave. Michelle. Margaret. Some chick Josh knew. Doesn't pay child support. Drinks all the time. Strippers, petty things, and booze came before us. Wtf. Yeah, wtf. I had to beg him to spend ten minutes with our son. I would ask if he could watch gunner while I go to the store. Nope. He couldn't do it. He hated it when Gunner would cry. He would get furious. Dude. You're in the navy. Grow up. He would get pissed that I went through his email looking for something from our relator and then I found out some emails, 6 months later, I found even more!! Why did he lie to me for so long? Should have been straight up. He told me, and I quote, "I chose you though". I didn't know you even had a choice! We had VOWS!! You broke them like an OBGYN breaks water. ALL THE DAMN TIME. I regret marrying him when I did. I wanted to wait after his deployment. I wanted to see how he was with our son. Then I wouldn't be in this situation. I mean come on. HOW HARD WAS IT TO SPEND 10 MINUTES WITH YOUR SON WHEN YOU GOT HOME FROM WORK?! IT IS CALLED BONDING TIME. YOU MADE THIS BABY, BE A DAD, NOT A SPERM DONOR. AND PAY YOUR DANG CHILD SUPPORT!! Ugh. I literally could write a novel on this jackass. Every single time I even think about him, I think he is the anti-christ. I get angry. I would love to shove my square toed boot straight up his anus, and hope when I remove thus boot, he shits his pants every single time he walks. I guess, being whipped by this man, and pretty much doing everything he told me to do, going where he sent me, I was in a knew state every 6 weeks with our son. I finally realized back in July how shitty of a husband he was. I would have a beer ready for him when he walked in the door. I would be cooking dinner or have it ready. I would rub his feet after standing watch. I would rub his back, hands, and neck. I would have snacks ready for him while he was playing ps3, and I was tending to our son. Then when Gunner would go to bed, I would be able to finally play, if he didn't cry. Which I would have to shake Matt up on his days off to help with the baby. I got to sleep in once! He would help with Gunner maybe 6 times all together. 20 days of leave and he held gunner asleep while I was getting diapers, bottles, stumbling in the middle of the night. Then shove a pillow over his head. Let's quote more emails. I am not happy with her or the baby. I regret getting her pregnant sometimes. GO FUCK YOURSELF. GUNNER IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME. SHIT, YOU WERE GLOWING AND CRYING LIKE I WAS THE DAY HE WAS BORN. THOUGHT YOU WERE READY, 6 WEEKS LATER YOU STARTED CHEATING. IGNORING ME FOR DAYS ON END. I had SURGERY. I had my GALLBLADDER taken out, where was an I love you, phone call or text? Oh, none. But you could skype Michelle and tell her how you two were going to get a house in SC and you were about to fly her out, when we weren't there. WHAT THE HELL. DUDE. YOU ARE 27. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. I literally hate this man. HATE. I wish he would just be a dad.
Now, I spoil men. Treat them well. I would spoil em at Christmas. Birthdays. Randomly. Cook dinner for their families. Or them. Bake constantly. Do whatever. Massage their backs and feet after a long day at duty. I'm actually really nice. I just think some of my exes are stupid. Or just shouldn't breathe and reproduce. I try my damnedest to make people happy. Will do anything for them. Yet, I get fucked over. Always. Just remember dates of importance. It shouldn't be that hard. Lol I think some men truthfully don't know what to do when women treat them so well. They freak out. And want to be treated like assholes. So, after every breakup like every woman does, we put them on blast. and call them DUMB ASSES. Most of them will never grow up. They won't settle down. They won't find any girl that treats em good, because they will stick it in anything that moves.
I do NOT get the point of cheating. If you want to cheat, leave. Plain and simple. I have never once cheated on someone. I don't get why people do. I stayed true to my vows the 18 months Matthew and I spent apart. He couldn't. Some of his so called "friends" knew he was cheating. Thanks for the 411 guys!! I am so much happier being away from him. Being free. Having a stable and loving family for Gunner. I think, I have learned so much from every relationship. You cannot trust anyone right away. ;)
What are some shitty relationships YOU'VE been in?!
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Your face, yeah, I like that shit.
Ah, last minute christmas shopping online. After a long day of car shopping... and my son screaming while getting his hair cut.... I was runnin on 45 minutes of sleep! Lord have mercy. I am badass. Super mom. Then, I passed out on the couch for a good couple hours. haha.
Men, Military men. had this conversation today. Your damn hot. HAVE YOU SEEN YOURSELVES IN UNIFORM?! Drool, grovel, whatever. Then when that uniform comes off, you speak, and I lose interest in looking. And for christ sake if I hear one more MARINES or NAVY commercial... I will go crazy.. "a global force for good" haha. uhh, no. I was married to a sailor. Today, I told him, sometimes I wish I could punch him the nuts and be on my way. He talks to me like I'm 6. First off, you dumbass. You are JUST now sending our son's shit, and behind on child support. Secondly, selling the yukon does not count for child support. Lastly, you say you miss Gunner and I? How about checking on your son more than once every 3 months. That would be a plus. Also, Every single time I see your name pop up on my phone, I think I am dealing with the anti-christ. I seriously think you are Satan. Now, you and one of the home wreckers go on your merry way. Michelle Spaulding. I hate your face. I hope you slip on a patch of ice, and seriously injure yourself. :) Thanks for making me realize I was with an unfaithful dicknozzle.
OH! Christmas shopping. I never ever wanna wait last minute. I'd have more money in the bank if I didn't. haha. I'm a cheap ass. I like to have money in my account. I save save save! Shit, I wanna go to Hawaii, and see my bestest friend, KRISTIE! Holy balls. The amount of hell we would raise :) Just on a beach during the day next to some over weight tourist. and LAUGH our asses off :) I'm sorry, they should definitely stop making bikinis at a certain size. If your ass cheek looks like 9 raccoons wrestling in a bag of feed corn. NO TO THE BIKINI! I am sorry, if you are 390 pounds you do not need to be wearing one. Glad you have the confidence to, I, among 95% of the island do not wanna see that. I think my son would run and cry to me and think it was a monster. Or this case, Jabba the Hut wanting his food, not money. food.
It's really lonely around this time of year. I really get into a scrooge mode in my head. If you cannot tell by my words up above. I literally hate not having someone to cuddle with when it is cold. To spoil during the holidays. Bake cookies for and make em fat :) Actually, any baked goodies for that matter. I am actually a sweetie. with a huge heart. I just hate stupid, ignorant, dumbasses. Most people do. Okay, everyone does. I just want someone who can be an idiot with me, has the smartass attitude. As tall, or taller than I. Loves being cooked for, and spoiled, who will be happy happy happy. Doesn't mind I have a kid. Don't mind watching movies or playing video games. from Borderlands to COD to Mass Effect. Just kicking ass. Nerdy. And sexy. Oh, tattoos are a plus. TATTOOS ARE SEXY.
Hmmm, that's all I gotta say, JACK!
Men, Military men. had this conversation today. Your damn hot. HAVE YOU SEEN YOURSELVES IN UNIFORM?! Drool, grovel, whatever. Then when that uniform comes off, you speak, and I lose interest in looking. And for christ sake if I hear one more MARINES or NAVY commercial... I will go crazy.. "a global force for good" haha. uhh, no. I was married to a sailor. Today, I told him, sometimes I wish I could punch him the nuts and be on my way. He talks to me like I'm 6. First off, you dumbass. You are JUST now sending our son's shit, and behind on child support. Secondly, selling the yukon does not count for child support. Lastly, you say you miss Gunner and I? How about checking on your son more than once every 3 months. That would be a plus. Also, Every single time I see your name pop up on my phone, I think I am dealing with the anti-christ. I seriously think you are Satan. Now, you and one of the home wreckers go on your merry way. Michelle Spaulding. I hate your face. I hope you slip on a patch of ice, and seriously injure yourself. :) Thanks for making me realize I was with an unfaithful dicknozzle.
OH! Christmas shopping. I never ever wanna wait last minute. I'd have more money in the bank if I didn't. haha. I'm a cheap ass. I like to have money in my account. I save save save! Shit, I wanna go to Hawaii, and see my bestest friend, KRISTIE! Holy balls. The amount of hell we would raise :) Just on a beach during the day next to some over weight tourist. and LAUGH our asses off :) I'm sorry, they should definitely stop making bikinis at a certain size. If your ass cheek looks like 9 raccoons wrestling in a bag of feed corn. NO TO THE BIKINI! I am sorry, if you are 390 pounds you do not need to be wearing one. Glad you have the confidence to, I, among 95% of the island do not wanna see that. I think my son would run and cry to me and think it was a monster. Or this case, Jabba the Hut wanting his food, not money. food.
It's really lonely around this time of year. I really get into a scrooge mode in my head. If you cannot tell by my words up above. I literally hate not having someone to cuddle with when it is cold. To spoil during the holidays. Bake cookies for and make em fat :) Actually, any baked goodies for that matter. I am actually a sweetie. with a huge heart. I just hate stupid, ignorant, dumbasses. Most people do. Okay, everyone does. I just want someone who can be an idiot with me, has the smartass attitude. As tall, or taller than I. Loves being cooked for, and spoiled, who will be happy happy happy. Doesn't mind I have a kid. Don't mind watching movies or playing video games. from Borderlands to COD to Mass Effect. Just kicking ass. Nerdy. And sexy. Oh, tattoos are a plus. TATTOOS ARE SEXY.
Hmmm, that's all I gotta say, JACK!
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